Departure Scars
by Minakokiss
Summary: Complete Kenshin leaves for Kyoto and Kaoru is slips into depression and decides to end her life. However, when something goes wrong, will Kenshin come back before it's too late? Please R&R!
1. Sayonara

Departure Scars

Chapter: 1 

"Sayonara" 

Kaoru walked along a dirt road during a warm spring night. A soft breeze played with her dark, indigo hair, neatly tied up in a light green ribbon. Many thoughts plagued Kaoru's mind and worried her deeply. _"Now what is Kenshin going to do in consequence to Lord Okubo's homicide? That man was one of the main government officials keeping the Meiji Era in tact! Will Kenshin stay or…leave?" _

A firefly flew past Kaoru's face, blinking a soft hue of light at her. It was such peaceful and beautiful night. Pink Cherry Blossom petals glided threw the air making her wish that she could relax for while without any worry of Kenshin leaving, training students and working her trying to keep respect for her fathers sword technique. There was always something to worry about—Especially now. Would Kenshin really leave her and the others? She had never told him before, but she loved him… his kind nature, and his respect for them all. He was hansom and strong, but he didn't let it all go to his head. Kaoru pictured the first time he saved her. When he had carried her home after he had rescued her from a man trying to brandish her family's technique. Maybe she had fallen for him then…but still, when he said he would stay with her...she felt so overjoyed. After being alone for all that time with no family and her friends working all day she felt so lonely. If he left again what would she do? Just walk around alone and being called 'busu' whenever Yahiko decided to come over and eat or train. _"What fun."_

"Kenshin…onegai, don't go." Kaoru whispered as she looked up at the delicate petals of the Cherry Blossom Tree. She looked past the tree and listened to the babbling of a stream. Large groups of fireflies flickered around the sparkling water. She carefully stepped threw the tall grass to the bank. She used to come here all the time to think about things that were on her mind. Sometimes it just relaxed her when she was feeling depressed. She inhaled the fresh air, lightly scented with blossoms and flowers. She closed her eyes and imagined herself with Kenshin by her side. He called her Koiishi and gave her a soft kiss on her lips. He held her tight as they watched the fireflies dance around them and the stars twinkle above their heads…

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kenshin's sandals scuffed lightly against the little bits of rocks on the road heading towards the dojo. He dreaded giving everyone the news. He tried to think of some way to tell them without being beaten to a pulp. He really didn't want to hurt any of them, but things in this world would be so much worse for women like Kaoru and boys that had very loud mouths like Yahiko if he let Shishio overthrow the government. It would be much too dangerous and he had to stop it from happening. _"But I don't want them to hate me…especially Kaoru-dono…she's to innocent and beautiful. I hate seeing her cry. Someone that wonderful should never have to go through any pain. What should I say?!"_

Kenshin sighed and looked at the Cherry Blossom trees when something caught his eye. He squinted his eyes and saw a woman with a ponytail and a yellow kimono. Fireflies flickered around her in circles like butterflies attracted to a lovely flower. _"Kaoru-dono…" _He turned and mutely crept towards her.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

The night was beginning to become cooler now. Kaoru took in another deep breath and let out a smooth sigh. She smiled slightly, her eyes still closed. Her mind was still far away from reality.

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin hated disturb her when she looked so peaceful, but he had to say something. Kaoru stiffened up in shock and her eyes snapped open. She stood there for a moment, but then slowly turned around. He was a few feet away from her with a blank look on his face.

"Kenshin…" Kaoru exclaimed quietly. There was a long unconformable silence between them. He had lowered his head so his bangs covered his eyes but Kaoru held her gaze. She could feel disappointment start to pound in her heart. Her stomach sank. She began to fear the worst. "_Please…please say you'll stay. I don't want to be alone again…onegai…" _Kaoru felt an urge to be in his arms. To feel the warmth of his body against her. She wanted to hear him say, 'Aishiteru, koiishi'. If only they could be togeth—

"Mr. Okubo was murdered today." Kenshin finally began.

"Hai…I know. It was in the News Letter." She whispered. Kenshin was quiet again. She frowned and waited almost impatiently.

"It was one of Shishio's men…" He paused for a moment, "I really can't let him do this. If he destroys the government and rules this country everyone will suffer dearly. There will be no justice and many innocent people will die." Kenshin looked up into her eyes, watching her every move, memorizing every detail to her face. His eyes searched to the depths of her soul. He wanted to remember every last bit of her. 

"I want you to know that I cherish everything you have ever done for me. From when we first met until now. I loved every bit of the time I stayed with all of you." 

_"So have I." _Kaoru thought, feeling apprehensive. She could tell where he was going.

"Kaoru-dono, you and Yahiko and Sanosuke are those innocent people. I don't want to see the unthinkable happen to you...so, I'll be leaving for Kyoto." Kenshin finished quietly. 

Kaoru inhaled sharply. Even if she had known this was coming, she didn't know how much it was hurt. Her chest clenched as she felt her heart shatter and fall in pieces at her feet. Her stomach knotted up. She felt sick.

"Y-you can't…" Kaoru choked. "Don't leave." Her throat tightened.

"Kaoru-dono…I can't let Shishio get away with this. If I stayed, this peaceful era could fall back to chaos and where woman like you are worth nothing and you're worth so much more than that. You shouldn't have to be treated that way. You'll be in great danger. I have to go and stop him." He insisted. Kaoru's lip quivered despite the slight blush on her face..

"So you're going to kill him? You just going to leave us and become a manslayer again after those ten long years of wandering?!"

"...I don't know." Kenshin replied ruefully, turning to the side. She glanced into his violet eyes. They looked full of guilt and his face looked tired and worn, not anything like the happy funny Kenshin, Kaoru knew so well. Her chin quivered.

"Well…it wouldn't matter anyways because even if you do become the battousai you still always come back to what you really are, like with Jin-eh and Saitoh. You'll always be someone we all care about; a wanderer that doesn't kill." Kaoru's throat became dry and sore. She could feel it. He wasn't going to give in. Unshed tears began to well up in her eyes. Kenshin turned towards her.

"Kaoru-dono…" He whispered and stepped closer. His arms lifted brushing against her soft hands. He pulled her into a tight embrace. Kaoru's eyes widened in shock. The coolness of the night vanished and was replaced by the warmth of his body. His hot breath caressed her neck and she felt the rise and fall of his chest against hers. She held her breath, feeling Kenshin's fiery hair caress her cheek. This was everything she had ever wanted but…_"I'm so close, yet so far away."_ And it hurt like nothing else.

"All of this time you have treated me with kindness and generosity. You accepted me the way I was, even though I had murdered hundreds of people. I had nothing to give you but you still cared for me. You gave us all food and a place to sleep even though we couldn't pay you and I thank you so much for all of it. You told me I was a wanderer not battousai. Well then…" He paused, feeling her body tremble against his. "I must wander again Kaoru-dono…Farewell." Their embrace ended. Just as he let go he could see the shimmer of a tears slide down her cheek through corner of his eye. "Sayonara…" And so he began the long journey to Kyoto. A sob choked out of lungs and tears streamed down her face wetting her kimono. She could hear the shards of her heart sickeningly crunch under his feet as he walked away.

"Iie…" "_No, Kenshin you can't leave! You can't leave!! Please, I need you! You keep my mind together. You keep me together!! Please don't throw everything away like this! I love you!"_ "Kenshin!!" Kaoru cried and ran after him, who was almost out of sight. Tears fled into the air as more rolled down her face. She was almost surprised at how fast she could run in her kimono, so she tried to run faster. But it was all in vain when the stream's grassy bank became cluttered with slick gravel and large rocks. The point of a stone caught the strap on her zori, flinging body harshly to the ground. Her head connected hard onto the rocky ground and her hands skidded along the gravel. Kaoru gritted her teeth and painstakingly rose to her feet. She ripped off her zori and ran on. Kenshin turned around just as she flung herself against him. She gripped the collar of his gi with both bleeding hands and shook him.

"Don't go!" Kaoru cried.

"Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin exclaimed. She just shook him harder.

"Don't you understand?! We all need you…I need you! So please…" She felt miserable.

"Demo…onegai…just remember that I'll be doing this for all of you. Japan needs this. Everyone will suffer! Please, just go back to the dojo and rest…it's been a long day." Kenshin pleaded gently. His eyes stared intensely into hers. He was about to break. All it would take was a little more.

Kaoru suddenly felt the burning sensation of guilt. "_Why are you doing this to him? He has it hard enough already! You're being so selfish!"_ She began scolding herself. She let her hands slowly slip off his gi to her sides and she lowered her eyes away from his. Kenshin paused for a second and turned around again. The scuffing of his zori became faint as he walked away. "Go back and rest." He said through clenched teeth.

"…Sayonara." Kaoru whispered. Tears began to flow down her face again as her body shook with painful sobs. She fell to her knees as her tears dropped to the earth. She bent forward in an aching sadness, sobbing until she became so exhausted that she drifted into a deep sleep onto the cold earth.

**Translations**:

Koiishi- darling

Gi- Kenshin's shirt

Zori- Japanese sandles, like flip flops 

Hai- yes

Demo- but, however

Onegai- please

Dono- Kenshin little polite thingy. Like, Miss Kaoru

Busu- ugly. Yahiko's nickname for Kaoru

Zori- those wooden Japanese sandles. Like, flip-flops

Iie-no

**Author's notes**- Well, this is going to be a sad ficcie I guess. This is my first attempt at a fic so please be nice. If you like it please R & R and I'll post some more if homework allows. ^_^x I hope you like it. Well, that's pretty much it okay? Ja Ne.

**Disclaimer: **Okay...why would I be writing my pathetic fanfics on this site if I owned Kenshin and could be making episodes out of this? You tell me.

(Re-edited.)


	2. Secrets

Departure Scars

**Chapter: 2 **

"Secrets" 

_Tweet. Tweet…Tweet, tweet, tweet. _

Kaoru stirred. She lazily opened her heavy eyes. She gazed up at light pink Cherry Blossom trees and the little birds fluttering from tree to tree. She shivered. It was cold. She noticed that the sun had barely risen making a beautifully pink and purple, hazy horizon. The ground was shining with morning dew that made her kimono damp along her entire back and side. Her hair was wet too. She turned her head and slowly sat up. She groaned at the sudden headache cause her surroundings to blur. _"Why does my head hurt so bad?"_ Kaoru squinted her eyes and stood up, using the trunk of a tree for balance. Her stomach twisted as she strained to remember why she was there. _"…Where?" _She clenched her teeth together as a wave of nausea flowed over her. _"He…left. I wanted him to stay. Why didn't you stay…Kenshin…?"_ The nausea got stronger. 

_ 'Farewell, Kaoru-dono'_ that was all it took. Her stomach muscles tightened as she bent over and vomited. Her body ached and everything was spinning. While coughing, Kaoru wiped her mouth off with the sleeve of her kimono and decided to go back to the dojo.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

After stumbling in a daze most of the way she reached the gates of the dojo grounds. Kaoru hesitated for a moment looking as if she wasn't sure if she should go in. What would everyone think of her disappearance? She didn't really want to answer the many questions Yahiko and Sanosuke would have for her. She fingered the handle on the door. What if Megumi was even there? _"Can I even handle that?" _She wondered. 

Finally, she slid the gates open and mutely walked towards the dojo. Through her dry eyes she could see Yahiko standing on the steps with the broom sweeping off dust and dirt. She lowered her head so her bangs shielded her eyes from any looks he might give her. Kaoru knew she couldn't handle that.

She heard a gasp and her stomach twisted again. 

"K-Kaoru!? What happened to you?! Where have you been?!" Yahiko demanded. "Sanosuke, and I were looking all over Tokyo for you!" He dropped the broom hurried over to Kaoru. She grimaced at the poking of little rocks that were tearing her tabi and meeting her skin, but continued to walk to the front door of her house. Yahiko stepped in front of her. She slowed and came to a stop. "Kaoru! Are you alright?" He asked again. His voice was high pitched with worry. Then he noticed dry blood down the right side of her face. He lifted his hand to brush away her bangs from the cut.

"Dame." Kaoru said in firmly with danger in the edges of her coarse voice. Yahiko immediately dropped his hand to his side. He stared at her wearily. Her jaws were clenching and unclenching nervously. She looked really bad. _"Did someone beat her up or something? What happened?! Her Kimono is in ruins and she's bleeding. She was missing all night too. What happened?!!" _

_ "Please, don't ask me anything…nothing about…Kenshin. I don't want to talk about him. I don't want to talk about anything. Just let me go inside and sleep. I'm not hungry and I can bandage and clean myself up without any help. Just leave me alone!" _

"Ano…do you want to take a bath?" Yahiko asked, completely off the subject. He noticed her relax a bit. "I could prepare one for you if you want…" He looked at her expectantly. She appeared to be thinking. She answered with a voice barely audible.

"That would be nice. Arigoto." He smiled; glad that he could get the conversation a bit lighter. Still, he had to find out what happened. She couldn't keep this a secret. Especially with Kenshin_—"Kenshin! Did he do this…no…He would never do that to Kaoru!…would he? Where is Kenshin anyways? Oh Kami! Now I'm even more confused. Damn it! WHAT HAPPENED!!??"_ Yahiko growled and threw his hands up in the air in frustration. Kaoru watched with a puzzled look on her dirty face as the young boy stomped off to the bathhouse. She sighed and went to her room.

_"Where is my Yukata?!" _Kaoru was just as frustrated as Yahiko while she dug through her closet and moved on to the small dresser on the other side of her room. _"I clean my room and I can't find a single thing anyway! Oh Kami, can my life get any worse?"_ Kaoru's face mimicked her thoughts. She yanked out a drawer and threw out some ribbons, books, tabi, and found a little box. It was a forest green with yellow and olive colored bead designs of dragons all over it. She didn't really recognize it. Since it was on the bottom of the drawer it had probably been their several years. Carefully, she pulled off the lid. Inside there was a thing that looked like a bokken but much smaller. It was about the size of a knife or dagger. There was a beautiful carving of a dragon in the lower part of the object. Kaoru peered at it closer and saw a tiny separating line strait across the higher part of the object. She picked it up from the box. The wood was soft. It had been sanded well. She gripped both hands on each end of the wooden object and pulled her hands in opposite directions. The wood separated into two pieces to reveal a hidden dagger. Her jaw dropped open a bit at the sight of the shinny blade. She could see her sad eyes in the distorted reflection. Kaoru pulled the sheath off more. The blade looked very sharp and new. She wondered how long it had been here.

_"Probably even before my father died—" _Her ocean blue eye's widened. _"Died..."_ Sadness returned and she began to look at the blade longingly. _"It would hurt…but probably not much more than Kenshin leaving…I loved him. He obviously doesn't love me back. He would of stayed if he did." _Kaoru pulled the sheath completely off the blade and poked her finger with it. A drop of blood oozed out of the little hole. An awkward smile formed on Kaoru's face as the traces of real reason faded from the depths of her eyes. She became hypnotized by the glare of light on the blade. She lifted it up and began to position it between her breasts. _"Just a little pain and it will all be over." _Kaoru told herself. _"All over…all over."_ She was ready. _"Okay. Ichi...ni...san." _She thrust it to her chest.

"Kaoru, your bath's ready!" yelled Yahiko as he slammed the shoji door open. Kaoru nearly jumped out of her skin. With lightning speed she hide the dagger and sheath behind her back.

"D-domo arigoto." She sucked in a deep breath and panted a little. Beads of nervous sweat glistened on her forehead. He almost gave her a heart attack! 

Yahiko began to notice the look on her face and gave her a suspicious look.

"What were you doing?"

"Uuuh…looking for my yukata." She half lied. "I can't find it."

"Is that it?" He asked pointing to a rack with her training gi and hakama hanging on it. Next to it was her yukata.

"Hai." She replied feeling dumb. _"I searched all over my room and it's right under my nose!"_

"Well, I guess I'll go then."

"Alright. I'll be there in a minute." Kaoru answered still glued to her spot on the floor. Yahiko shut the shoji. She listened to the soft footsteps of him walking away and looked back at the dagger. She shook her head slowly, wondering what she had been thinking as she slid it back into its sheath and tucked it inside the folds of her futon. Kaoru glanced back at her newly messy room and her futon and silently walked out the door.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kaoru's mouth dropped open when she looked in the mirror. _"I can't believe that Yahiko didn't just drag me to Dr. Genzai's"_ She thought. Her face had dry blood down the right side and dirt was smeared on her cheeks and nose, but there were two clean lines tracing from the corner of each eye and down to neck. _"Tears."_ Sighing, she began to remove the many bits and pieces of her kimono. When she was done she held it up and looked at it. Dirt was on the back, knees, arms and side. The elbows was shredded and ripped like the knees and hip. _"Well, I guess I can just throw this one away." _She tossed the kimono to the floor. _"It can't be fixed...nothing can."_

And the memory of Kenshin leaving slowly began returned again. She couldn't seem to keep it off her mind for long.

_"How could I be so stupid?! Why do I love him like this?! I should have known that everything he did was just polite...nothing special and that in the end he would throw away it all. Even if he did hug me like that and look at me with a special spark in his eye sometimes...it was probably just male hormones or something. He didn't love me. He was just playing the little flirting game with me because I was so perfect…perfectly dense and gullible. Those are the only things I'm good at. He can cook, clean and he has better manners than I do. I'm just some sweaty little girl that fell for charm and a hansom face. A stupid giddy child. It was so easy for him! I was an idiot to fall for some stranger like that! He could have killed me if he wanted to. He could have raped me if he wanted to. _(Although it didn't occur to her why he didn't do those things.)_ He's so much stronger than I am. He wasn't that kind of person though. He just wanted a place to stay and nothing more but a little fun. I was under his command like a little toy." _Fresh tears fill Kaoru's eyes and dropped onto her naked body as she finished washing herself and dipped her foot into the hot bath water. _"His toy…" _

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

"Oi Sanosuke, Kaoru's back!" Yahiko called from the dojo steps where he had been completing his sweeping.

"Where is she?!" Sanosuke demanded as he ran over to Yahiko.

"She's taking a bath." His face suddenly became animated and he yelled several things to Sanosuke at once.

"Wooah, slow down." He scratched his head. "So what did you say?"

"She looked really bad Sanosuke! There was dirt all over her, she didn't have her shoes, her kimono was ripped up really bad and there was dry blood down the right side of her face. I'm afraid something happened to her but she won't tell me anything!" The boy explained. "I was thinking that she might have got attacked by some bandits or something." Sanosuke looked thoughtful for a second but then his face flashed with sudden worry.

"Maybe she did get caught by some bandits. Her kimono was ripped so…what if…what if she was..." His voiced faded. _"Raped..."_ Yahiko looked at him expectantly. 

"'What if she was' what?" He echoced.

"Hey, did you try to touch her?"

"Yes..." Yahiko gave him a strange look.

"Did she let you?"

"No...why?"

"Just wondering." Sanosuke stood up.

_"Damn, this pisses me off! Some people can be so sick!"_ Sanosuke looked disgusted as some memories of him beating the crap out of men that were raping some woman near the gambling house past his mind. _"It's too bad that things like that have to happen to innocent woman like them." _

"Where are you going?" Yahiko asked.

"To go talk to her." Said Sanosuke as he slid the door open.

"But she's taking a bath!" Yahiko reminded.

"I'll knock." Sanosuke muttered and shut the door behind him, leaving Yahiko to go back to his sweeping duties alone and confused.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

At the end of the hall Kaoru turned around a corner. She looked surprised to see Sanosuke.

"What are you doing here?" She tried to hide the pain in here eyes and look curious but he noticed it anyway. In a way, he reminded her of Kenshin, though she couldn't figure out why. _"Because they were almost best friends? Protected people they cared about? Both of them fought for me one time or another."_

"I was looking for you." He replied. "I know you don't want to answer my questions but your going to no matter what you do or say." Sanosuke locked his eyes with hers in complete seriousness. "Got it?" Kaoru was silent partially from shock of how extreme he was being with her. It scared her because she knew that he was stronger than her and there was _no_ way of getting out of this one by the looks of it.

"I'm going to bed." She mumbled after she managed to tear her gaze away from him. _"Just leave me alone. I want to go to sleep. I just want to forget about...him." _Kaoru diverted herself around him and headed to her room.

"No you aren't." Sanosuke grasped her arm.

"Let go of me!" Kaoru cried and tried to pull her arm away.

"Tell me what happened." He didn't let go.

"No!" She yelled, pulling harder. He tugged in return and pushed her back to the wall. He held both of her upper arms against the it so she couldn't move. "Let me go!"

"Then tell me!" He yelled back. Kaoru squirmed and tried to get free but he had her in a good hold and he was still much stronger than she would ever be.

"Let go of me now!"

"Are you deaf!? Damn it, I said I'm not letting you go until you tell me what happened!" His grip became tighter. Kaoru closed her eyes as tight as she could to get the tears from slipping down her cheeks. _"Don't cry in front of him! Don't cry in front of him! It'll just show how bad it was and make him ask more questions!"_ Sanosuke shook Kaoru lightly against the wall, getting annoyed.

"Leave me alone! I thought you were supposed to be friends with us!" she snapped. His grip became tighter with more frustration.

"I am!"

"Then don't treat me like this!"

"Then tell me!"

"No!"

"Tell me! I'll never let you leave if you don't!" he yelled back.

"No!"

"Yes, damn it!"

"No!" Kaoru's tears seeped through her lashes and streaked her cheeks. His anger grew, just thinking that someone had caused Kaoru to hurt so bad...and when he found out who he was...he didn't even want to think about what was going to happen.

"Kaoru, just tell me!" Sanosuke's grip grew even tighter.

"Let go!"

"No!"

"Sanosuke, let go! You're hurting me!"

**Translations: **

Hai- yes

Arigoto/domo arigoto- thank you, thank you very much

Yukata- single layered cotton kimono. Worn for bed, after baths or in the summer.

Oi- hey

Tabi- socks so you can wear the zori

Kami- God

Shoji- a door with paper lining, inside a traditional Japanese house

Futon- a Japanese bad that folds up and can be put in the closet, think of a little bit more that a sleeping bag.

Bokken- a wooden sword

Gomen- sorry

**Author's Notes:** Well, I finally got this chapter done. I hope you like it. Please don't flame me! *Looks timid* I know it was kind of a bad place to leave if but I need to get to bed and it was the best I could think of right now. Please review it too! I want to know what people think! I'll get more later this week okay? Don't worry about Sanosuke. He did that on accident. You know how when he gets annoyed he clenches his fists? Well, now you understand. Alrighty then. I'll see ya'll later. Bye bye!

And remember: Hugs and Oros are important

(Re-edited)


	3. A Way Out

Departure Scars

**Chapter 3:**

"A Way Out" 

"Let go of me!" Kaoru screamed.

"No!"

"Sanosuke, let go! You're hurting me!"

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Anger vanished from Sanosuke's as quickly as surprise appeared. His grip loosened. Kaoru could barely feel him touching her. She trembled from and shakily opened her eyes. She felt a pang of guilt for the look of shame on his face. She didn't know what to say. _"It's my fault. I should have told him…Kenshin meant something to everyone. He was like family. He just wanted to know if he left or not. Sanosuke…you didn't hurt me that bad…I'm sorry." _Sanosuke opened his mouth and looked down at Kaoru. He paused as if he was deciding what to say. His eyes scanned the area around him cautiously and they went back to her.

"Gomen…nasai." He spoke. She nodded still feeling guilty. "Will you just answer some of my questions?" Dread soured Kaoru's stomach. She her mind changed again. _"Do I really have to tell you? Can't it wait? I just want to be left alone! Something else will just go wrong!"_ She swallowed nervously. "…Did you get attacked or…or...raped?" He asked. Now it was her turn to be surprised. She looked at him questioningly.

"N-no…" she answered hoarsely.

"And did Kenshin…leave?" Kaoru turned her head and her eye's darted to the floor. "Is that a yes?" he questioned. More silence. "Oi, don't start that bullshit again! I finally got you talking so don't stop." He was quiet for a moment; reasoning to him self that it most likely was a 'yes'. "Did you go after him?" The young lady's damp face twisted.

"…Hai" More tears began to fall and she snapped her head towards him, her emotional dam breaking. "I-I did go after him and I tried! I really tried! He wouldn't come back Sanosuke! He wouldn't come home with me! I wanted him back! I wanted him to come back but he won't! I still want him back too! But he'll never come back b-because he doesn't love me! He never cared about us! He never loved me!" Kaoru cried and yanked herself away from Sanosuke. He watched her as she ran down the hall and disappeared around a corner. _"Jou-chan…" _

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kaoru slammed the shoji door shut as hard as she could and crumpled to the wooden floor. She pounded her fist on the wood as her body racked with sobs. 

_"Why? Why?! Why did it have to be this way? All this pain. Love…damn love! Damn it all! I should of known better! I was so stupid! I should have listened to what Kenshin said a long time ago. 'You should careful of who you let in your home Kaoru-dono.' I shouldn't of let **him** in my home. I was better off alone." _

"Uuggh! Baka!!" She screamed and pounded her fist against the floor again.

Her body shook with sobs until she stood up pointlessly and glared at the innocent objects around her room. Her anger boiled inside of her veins as she walked towards her dresser. She picked up her hand mirror and looked at her red-ringed eyes and tear-streaked face in the little reflection. _"Look at me. I'm pathetic! Disgusting! Crying over someone I barely knew!" _Suddenly, Kaoru slammed the mirror on the corner of the dresser. Jagged reflecting shards fell in front of her. A growl rose in her throat as she swept her arm across the dresser surface, sending bottles of perfume, a flower filled vase, and hair items clattering to the floor. She stepped aside and kicked the stand holding her practice close angrily. The pieces snapped as the gi and hakama glided to her feet. _"What's wrong with me?!"_ She let out a frustrated yell as she kicked her futon across the room. 

But she blinked as her eye caught a wooden sheath flipping out of the blankets and clattering across the room. It hit the wall and slid aside. Kaoru quickly fetched it as her eyes became glazed once again and her earlier thoughts returned. She hugged the dagger to her chest.

_"Just a little pain…not any worse than the pain now. Then it will all be over. Gone. I wont have to care anymore. No more crying, no more lonely nights worrying, no more pain..." _She pulled off the sheath and tossed it to the floor. A crooked smile formed on her face. 

_"No problems with money or support. No more Kenshin."_

She positioned the blade. 

_"No more me."_

With that reasoning Kaoru thrust the cold metal into her chest. Instant pain shot up her arms and down her legs. She could feel her flesh move apart to make room for the icy edge. Blood instantly began pumping from the self-inflicted womb. The blood poured down the blade and was soaking the front of her yukata. She pushed it in more as her limbs began to feel heavy with pain. Everything seemed to go slower and slower. The front of her body was saturated with the thick red liquid. Dizziness set in. Her limbs were slowly going numb. She could feel it traveling up her fingers until her arms dropped lifelessly to her sides. Kaoru let out a struggled choke. Crimson liquid seeped out of the corner of her mouth. She collapsed on her side, wheezing painfully as her breaths became shorter. Darkness slithered around her dying form like a snake from the shadows. Light become more distant.

"S-sorry..." She whispered and closed her eyes. "Every...one a-and..." The last speck of light disappeared and darkness consumed her. Her last words were left unfinished.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

"Geez! Could you two get any louder? What did you do to her? I almost went inside to see if someone was attacking you guys!" Yahiko exclaimed to Sanosuke as he stepped outside.

"I think she's really pissed at me now." Sanosuke said ruefully and paused as Yahiko gave him a 'no-kidding' look. Sanosuke continued, "Well, I didn't get all the information. I just got the basics. Kenshin did leave and she went after him, but he still wouldn't come back. She wasn't attacked or anything. That's all I got from her. She's taking this pretty hard."

"But why did why didn't she come home and why did she look like that!?"

"She ran off to her room before I could ask." He answered shrugging his shoulders.

"Well…at least we know something." Yahiko looked a bit hopeful despite the disappointment that throbbed in his chest. He was going to miss Kenshin dearly. "I guess I'll go see if she's alright." He said before walking into the house. Sanosuke nodded and stared at the washtub that was a few feet away. Kenshin flashed in his mind.

"Damn it! Kenshin, you bastard!" Sanosuke yelled and kicked the bucket across the yard.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Yahiko heard a thud from down the hall and walked more briskly to Kaoru's room. He wasn't sure, but it just seemed like something wasn't right. He could feel it. Yahiko halted at the door and listened carefully. His senses were all alert and looking for any hint of what Kaoru was doing. He slid the door opened a crack and peaked in. He gasped when he saw he room in shambles. Glass was shattered all over the floor and some of the furniture pieces were completed destroyed. His eyes wandered to Kaoru. She was lying on her side with her back to the door. She was motionless. Yahiko opened the door a bit more.

_"A burglar? No...we would of noticed something." _

"Kaoru?" He whispered. He slid the door open all the way and took a step inside her room. "Kaoru." He repeated creped towards her until he was about 4 feet away. That's when he noticed it. Yahiko's heart lurched sickly into his throat when he saw a large pool of blood growing in front of her and a dagger protruding from her chest. "Kaoru!" He screamed and kneeled down by her side and shook her. "Kaoru, wake up!" Yahiko shook her harder. She didn't move. Panic stirred deep inside him. He turned her onto her back and gently tapped her cheek. She didn't respond. "Kaoru! KAORU!!!" Yahiko screamed and ran towards to door. "Sanosuke, I need you're help!!"

"What's wrong?" asked Sanosuke as he came jogging down the hall. Tears formed in Yahiko's eyes as he stood in the door way.

"It's Kaoru! She's…she's—"

"She's _what!?_" yelled Sanosuke before pushing the boy away and looking inside Kaoru's room. 

"She's--"

"Oh fuck." Sanosuke cursed, his eyes darting from the blood to Kaoru. He rushed over to her motionless body and rested two fingers on Kaoru's neck. Nothing. His heart skipped a beat. He pressed a little harder. A slight beating. A very weak and slow beating.

"Is she alive?!"

"Yes, but you better run as fast as you can to Megumi because it doesn't look like she'll be for long." He said looking panicky. Yahiko nodded and dash out the door. _"I hope they get back here in time!" _Sanosuke felt extremely worried. He slipped his arms under Kaoru and lifted her up. Blood dripped to the floor and soaked his sleeves. He carried her into the kitchen and laid her onto the counter. _"Should I take the dagger out?" _He thought. _"No…that's probably keeping a lot of the extra blood in. I need to put pressure on it." _Sanosuke thought, remembering some of the medical practices Megumi would use on her severely injured patients. He quickly pulled her yukata open a bit and took off his jacket. He rapped it around the dagger and her chest, pressing hard. Kaoru let out a quiet, painful wheeze but had no other response. 

He noticed the trickle of blood begin to drip from her mouth more. He slipped one hand under her head and held her up. He didn't want her to choke on her own blood since she wasn't really able to cough. The trail flowed down her neck and down Sanosuke's arm. _"Hurry Yahiko!! Please!"_

**Translations: **

Hai-yes

Shoji-see chapter 2…come on! You people should know this by now! Especially if you read anime!

Gomen nasai-I'm sorry

**Author's Notes:** Weeeell, I finally got this chapter done! *Yay!*** **Do you love it? Hate it? Please review! I'll put chapters up more if ya'll like it! Isn't this a good cliff hanger? ^_^ I guess I'll go now. Oh with the next chapter!

(Re-edited.) 


	4. Where's Kenshin?

Departure Scars

**Chapter 4:**

"Where's Kenshin?"

Blood dripped out of the corner of Kaoru's mouth, sliding down her neck and Sanosuke's arm. She wasn't going to last much longer. _"Hurry Yahiko! Please!!"_

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

The Kamiya Dojo was quiet except for the echoing click of wooden chopsticks in the hands of Yahiko. He sat alone picking at the rice Megumi had prepared for him about two hours ago before rushing to the clinic to treat a ill patient. _"At least Kaoru isn't that ill patient." _ Yahiko thought, trying to feel hopeful. Sanosuke's attempt to save Kaoru's blood and stop her from choking on it had probably saved her life...for now. She had been in a deep sleep for about 4 days with a persistent fever. 

He could tell Megumi was extremely worried about Kaoru, but she tried to hide it and show hope. Yahiko worried about her. She looked a bit frail; always staying up late to watch Kaoru or even Sanosuke, who was still healing from the injuries Saitou gave him. 

Yahiko sighed and rested his chin in the palm of his hand, poking at the rice with his chopsticks in the other hand. The rice was cold now. He wasn't very hungry either but he picked up a small piece and nibbled on it anyway. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

Light. It shone through the window and deep into her numb mind. She groaned as her eyes drowsily opened. Light streamed into her face as her mind began to realize where she was. She tried to prop herself up with her arms but suddenly a wave a pain surged from her chest and shot up her arms and down her legs as she leaned forward. She sputtered out coughs and wheezes as she clutched her chest with one hand and covered her mouth with the other. She rolled onto her side, trembling from the forceful hacks. She clenched her fists and gasped for air. 

_"Why am I coughing like this?"_ She wondered. 

When her coughing fit was finished she felt worn out and dizzy. Her head was pounding. With her all her little strength she struggled to her feet and wobbled, dizzily. Finally, with the wall's help, she gained enough balanced to make it to her door. 

She didn't know why her chest hurt so much either. It just did. She had to clench her teeth to keep from crying out in agony. Then it dawned on her. _"You baka! Why don't you look and see!" _She almost laughed at her stupidity but she was to confused and the pain didn't clear her head too much either so she just shook her head very lightly. Kaoru looked down at herself. She was wearing a hakama with no top. Just bandages around her breasts. The bare skin of her belly felt cool in the air. She blushed at the sudden thought of Kenshin seeing her like this. Kenshin...where was he? 

Her head was still clouded as she sluggishly wandered down the hall looking for him and forgetting her less than modest clothing in the haze of pain and confusion. When she reached the room where he 'was' staying she slid the door open trying to put on a face that showed the world that she was absolutely fine. 

"Kenshin?" She asked after knocking on the shoji and getting no answer. She slid the door open and stepped inside the room. It was a bit dusty and the musky scent of him was faint. His traveling bag was gone and so was his little pile of clothing that always rested on the little table in the corner of the room. Did he leave? It looked like he had been gone for a while...maybe a week._ "Wait a second! How long have I been asleep?"_ Kaoru was so confused she became even more dizzy and began to wobble again. 

"Kenshin, where are you?" she called, softly and toppled backwards, crashing against the shoji. She heard faint footsteps quickly heading in her direction behind the storm of sudden, new pain and confusion. 

"Kaoru!" She heard a yell behind the blur and saw a young boy with spiky hair grab her arms and carefully shake her, making her senses perk up. She slid down the painful bumps of the shoji wood and until she was sitting the floor with Yahiko on his knees in front of her. "Kaoru, are you okay? Say something!" he exclaimed at her with concern and a bit of relief in his voice.. She pulled away weakly and struggled to her feet again. She held on the his shoulders for support. 

"Kenshin...where is he? Where's Kenshin?" she asked. 

"Kenshin is...he is...um..." A miserable feeling washed over him. He began to feel like he was the one who had to say good bye. He missed Kenshin so much. Yahiko shook his head to stop the tears forming in his eyes. Kaoru peered at him closely. 

"Where...?" She repeated. Yahiko could see her bad state and thinking that he shouldn't tell her at that moment. 

Kaoru swayed forwards causing him to step back a little. Then her foot suddenly slipped and she fell backward. Yahiko tried to catch her but unfortunately he was in front of her and she was falling the opposite direction. Her head crashed onto the wooden shoji and her body turned to the side on the floor causing another thump to echo through the old dojo. 

"Kaoru!" Yahiko tried to pull her up but she was too heavy. As he put his hand under her head he noticed it felt wet. He looked at his hand to see a little blood smeared on it. He grabbed a pillow from the futon in the room and put laid it under her head. Then he ran into the hall and opened the closet full of bandages that had been there incase Sanosuke or Kenshin got injured again and Megumi wasn't around. Yahiko took out some bandages and ran back to Kaoru, rapping it carefully around her head. He wasn't sure this was right but he thought that it might help. _"Kaoru, why did you have to wake up when no one but me was home? I don't know what to do!" _

Then he noticed the wrappings around Kaoru's breasts were turning a little red. _"Oh no! Her wound reopened! This isn't good at all" _Yahiko had no clue what to do. Should he go get Megumi and leave Kaoru or wait for her to come back? If he left no one would be here to watch her and she might take a turn for the worse. If he stayed he would have to wait for Megumi to come back and it might to late. _"Well, she should be back soon...so I guess I should stay. Maybe I can try to wake her up." _

"Kaoru." Yahiko called again and turned her onto her back. She groaned and her hand twitched. Yahiko thought some more and another idea popped into his head. 

"Busu!!" he screamed. He stared at her for a moment, waiting. Kaoru's lips pressed into a small frown. Her eyes opened half way. She blinked several times and glared with slight annoyance at Yahiko. He was overjoyed and a large grin formed on his face. _"Ah ha! For once that was good for something!" _

"...Don't...scream...Yahiko." Kaoru mumbled, sluggishly lifting her hand to rub her temples. 

"Are you alright, _busu_?"He asked, emphasizing her most hated nickname. "_This better keep her awake"_ She glared at him from the floor. 

"...How many times do I have to tell you?" she took a deep, ragged breath, "Don't call me that!" she tried to yell but it came out in a quiet firm voice. She began to sit up. Yahiko raised his hands to try to stop her. Her mouth dropped open and let out a breathless gasp. Again, pain shot up her arms and down her legs, just a few times worse. She fell back down onto the floor wheezing and choking. 

"Kaoru, you really shouldn't move! Your wound reopened when you fell and your head is bleeding too. I have to wait for Megumi to come back." He informed her looking worried. "Please stay still. Lets just talk for a while okay?" Kaoru looked at him still wheezing a bit. She barely nodded but he noticed it. 

"So...um...did you, ah....um..." _"Great, now I can't think of anything to say. What can I ask her? I have to keep her awa--"_

"Where...where's...Kenshin?" She asked, squinting at him painfully. "His...stuff...is all gone." She looked confused. 

"You don't remember?" 

"What...?" she coughed, "Is there something to remember? Where's...Kenshin?" 

"Well...he's, uh...um, he sort of..." Yahiko trailed off. He felt sadness overwhelm him and he shook his head to stop tears from forming. 

"...Did he..." Kaoru wheezed again. Her head throbbed uncontrollably and blood was beginning to drip out of her wrappings. Yahiko felt really nervous. He didn't want to tell her at all. His hands trembled. 

"Kenshin is--" 

"Yahiko, you didn't eat your rice!" a female voice called from the hallway. 

"Megumi, in here!" he hollered back. 

"What are you doing in Ken-san's room?" she asked from down the hall. Then she saw raven colored hair strung out on wooden floor and ran into the room. 

"Kaoru, woke up and she was looking for Kenshin but, she fell and hit her head." He explained quickly. Kaoru choked out a cough again. 

"Oh, Kaoru!" Megumi exclaimed and lifted her head up gently. Kaoru groaned in pain as Megumi began to try to lift her up to her feet. "Can you help me pull the other arm up?" Yahiko nodded and they had to practically drag Kaoru to her room. She seemed to be barely awake. 

Once Megumi had laid her down onto the futon she asked Yahiko to go boil some water and get clean cloths. He brought them to her obediently and was shooed away afterwards. 

Yahiko sat down in his room and looked at the wall sadly. It was so hard to see someone that he thought of as a big sister is so much pain. He knew Kaoru had tried to kill herself because she missed Kenshin, but did Kenshin miss her? The crusted stain on her face and the torn up clothes. The pool of blood around her body the dagger. Was it that bad? But now she didn't even remember. Did that make everything in vain or did she want it that way? How much did she forget? Would she ever remember? If she didn't would anyone tell her what really happened? 

Didn't Kaoru know that there were many other people that would have been devastated if she died? How could she throw everything away for him? Someone who had left them...and her. 

Suddenly he was angry with Kenshin. This was all his fault. If he would have stayed everyone could have been together and happy. Kenshin made Kaoru do this to herself. Kenshin had made everyone so sad. Kenshin never even said goodbye to them. He didn't even know if Kenshin had said goodbye to Kaoru. 

Yahiko missed everything so much. So, so much... 

Kenshin...he had always been a good person to talk to. He had the best advice and Yahiko loved his swordsmanship. It was astounding to watch. He wondered if Kenshin would come back--he wanted Kenshin to come back. 

Now he felt guilty. He just wanted everything to be like it was. He would forgive Kenshin for doing this to Kaoru and everyone would be alright. Kaoru would get better. 

They would be laughing and telling jokes about the day. Sanosuke's new brawl, Kaoru's bad cooking and why he shouldn't call her 'busu'. He wanted it back so badly. 

"Kenshin...why did you have to leave?" Yahiko whispered and put his face in his hands. Tears slipped into his lap. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

It had been a while since he had left and the whole time he had this nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something bad had happened, but he just tried to tell himself that it was because he missed them so much. 

_"I should just try to concentrate on going to Kyoto. If I keep thinking about them I'll lose my resolve." _He thought as his feet scuffed slowly along the dirt path. _"But I...I"_ Kenshin shook his head and walked more briskly. _"I..."_ Kaoru flashed in his mind. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her eyes were sad and pleading. His chest tightened in response. That was the look she gave him before he left. He came to a abrupt stop in the middle of the forest. _"Kaoru-dono..."_ He looked behind him as his finger-tips brushed against the blood stains on the front of his gi. They were from Kaoru's hands... 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

Late that night Yahiko had to stay near Kaoru to be there if she woke up. He decided to sleep in her bedroom doorway. Megumi said that he didn't need to stay awake, because he had looked so worn out. Yahiko had nodded wearily and gone to sleep soon after she had. He barely even snored and didn't even notice when Kaoru began to wake up. She stood up shakily. She groaned and trembled as her body throbbed with worse pain then before, but she didn't care. She really had to go to the bathroom. 

As she made her way to the door her foot stepped on something warm and soft. She jumped slightly and peered down at it and saw the outline of spiky hair. She sighed, it was Yahiko. 

Carefully, she stepped over him and went out the door. 

After she had relieved herself, Kaoru, feeling unable to sleep, wandered the house as the muffled sound of rain drifted into her ears. Soon her feet had led her to the dojo. Kaoru stared at her boken hanging on the wall. She lifted the wooden sword into her hands. A determined look crossed her features. Through the cloud of pain she pulled her body into a fighting stance. She glared at the invisible enemy before her and thrust the boken forward and dodged to the side. She swept her legs around in front of her and jumped in the air, swinging it down to the side. She let a yelp as she jumping the air and brought down her wooden sword. The air swished with it and she turned around and hit her enemy once more. The pain was soon gone and she was lost in the fight. 

Minutes later Kaoru collapsed on her knees wheezing and panting uncontrollably. He body was physically unable to continue. She coughed as sweat glistened on her forehead from the small exercise. 

The rain outside pounded harder. Her eyes darted around the dojo and she began to push herself up and to the door to the outside. The muffled rain became a louder as the Shoji opened. Mud squished between Kaoru's bare toes as she limped into the yard. Rain poured over her body. She felt a bit refreshed as she closed her eyes and tilted her head upwards to let the rain pour on her face. It was nice and warm. Summer was coming soon. 

Her lips curved upwards slightly. Her feet led her farther into the yard until she reached the dojo gates. She lifted her arms to push the gates open to leave. She needed to leave. Just for a short walk to refresh herself. Maybe stand by the stream behind the cherry blossom trees. 

She raised her arms to open the gates, but froze. She could hear footsteps and they were right right on the other side of the gate. 

**Translations:**

Gi-Kenshin's shirt. 

Baka-stupid, fool, idiot 

Hakama-think of Kenshin's pants 

Busu-ugly. Yahiko's nickname for Kaoru 

Boken-the wooden sword Kaoru uses. It's all wood. Not like the bamboo one Yahiko uses. That's a shinai. 

**Author's Notes:** Hey! I made a pyramid with the translations! *tee hee* ^_^x Anyways, I finally got this one done. I have lot of work with school. I'm surprised at how much I've changed this fic from my original on paper. Still, the storyline is pretty much the same. I think I like this one a little better. Well, please R&R and tell me how the story is going. Time to get onto the next chapter. 

(Re-edited.) 


	5. Battousai's Woman

Departure Scars

**Chapter 5:**

"Battousai's Woman"

She raised her arms to open the gates, but froze. She could hear footsteps and they were right right on the other side of the gate.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

The rain pounded hard on the grounds of the Kamiya dojo. Muddy puddles scattered the yard. 

A young boy that had recently stepped on hid behind a shoji, watching curiously as Kaoru stood before of the entrance of the dojo grounds. She was as still as a statue, her arms frozen against the door. _"What is she doing?"_ he wondered and stepped out a bit more. _"Is she leaving?"_ He wondered, but his suspicions were confurmed when he heard the high-pitched squeak of the dojo gates sliding open. _"Oh, no."_

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

Kaoru's eyes widened. A tall police officer stopped and looked down at Kaoru coolly. Why was a police man in front of her dojo this late at night? She shook her head trying to figure out the man towering over her. She felt that she recognized him in a way, but...how? She looked into his narrow amber eyes trying to find some hint of who he was. Nothing. She noticed his sword and blinked at the flash of blood and a red haired man getting stabbed in the side. Who was it? Who was he? She was confused. Kaoru shook her head again trying to rid herself of the bad feeling and confusion that she could feel welling deep inside her. 

When she looked back up at him she found that he was still staring at her. That piercing, haunting stare. _"How pathetic."_ He thought. Her soaked hair hung down over her shoulders and stuck to her skin which seemed to stick to her bones even more. She looked starved. She was wearing very little clothing. Her hakama clung to her legs and the rapping's around her breast were soaked with not just rain, but blood. . 

"So what is the battousai's woman doing out so late? He would go on a rampage if he saw you like this." The man spoke. Kaoru face was full of confusion. 

"Battousai's...woman?" She repeated. "I don't belong to anyone. Especially the battousai." Venom slipped into her speech. The man cocked an eyebrow. 

"Aw, did you have a fight?" He asked with sarcastic concern. 

"What are you talking about? I don't even know the battousai." The man raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh, but you seemed to be very close to him a few days ago." 

"What?!" Kaoru was now getting annoyed, but 'battousai' sounded vaguely familiar. Could she have possibly been so close with a murderer? The man shook his head. 

"Never mind. I don't have time for you, woman." he turned to leave. 

"Matte." Kaoru grabbed his arm. "Onegai." He halted. "What's your name?" 

"Gouru Fujita." He replied. Kaoru's eyes narrowed. _"That's not right. I just know it!"_

"Liar." 

"Then, _if_ I'm lying why don't you go figure it out." He smirked, now looking at her again. 

"Fine then..." Kaoru glared. He started to walk away. "W-why do you say that I'm the Hitokiri Battousai's woman?" She demanded loudly. 

"I said I don't have time for you." 

"Tell me!" She persisted as he stepped away further. 

"Like I said, figure it out." 

Kaoru yelled at him again but he was already gone. She shivered as she shut the gate. Kaoru didn't feel like taking a walk anymore, being so confused and now a little tired, it was cold now and no longer peaceful. Her chest hurt really bad but her head was clear. 

Kaoru turned and saw that Yahiko was running towards her. His feet splashed loudly in the mud. 

"Yahiko, why are you out here so late?" she asked. 

"Why are _you_ out here? _You_ are supposed to be in bed sleeping or at least resting. I'm not the one with a deep wound in my chest that has reopened _again_!" he scolded and he pushed her back inside the dojo. "You're never going to let me or Megumi get any sleep are you?" 

"Yahiko..." 

"You know, I'm starting to feel like I'm your mother or something." He continued as he pushed her into her room. 

"Yahiko--" 

"Now, stay there. Don't go outside or _anything_. I'm going to go get Megumi up okay?" he interrupted. Kaoru just nodded as he left the room. She leaned against the wall and looked at her chest. The wound _had_ reopened. A bit of blood was seeping out of the bottom of the bandages and dripping down the rest of her belly. 

Suddenly she felt really dizzy and tired. Her head nodded forwards weakly. _"Maybe I should lay down..."_ She glanced at her shoji, hearing Megumi's voice down the hall. Megumi would probably be mad at her for going outside in her condition. Kaoru sighed, stepped towards her bed, but she felt her legs give out in exhaustion. She collapsed onto the floor and only saw darkness. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

"Megumi..." Kaoru asked as Megumi carefully cleaned the bloody wound. In was in the early afternoon a day later. 

"Hmm?" 

"This man...he was at the dojo gates. He was a police officer...He said that he name was Guuro Fujita." Kaoru said. "Do you know who he is?" Megumi barely nodded. Her face was blank as she worked. Kaoru thought for a moment. "He called me the Hitokiri Battousai's woman...do you know what he meant by that?" 

"You don't remember?" She asked pausing in her work. 

"_Is_ there something to remember?" Kaoru looked up at Megumi curiously. Megumi was silent. "Well...is there?" 

"Yes." 

"What is it? Please, I need to know." Kaoru nearly pleaded. 

"...Some things...you're better off not remembering right now." Megumi replied. 

"But, why did he call me that...I'm not married am I?" Kaoru blurted looking panicked. 

"No." 

"Then why--" 

"It doesn't matter right now. Just be quiet and go to sleep." Megumi said firmly. Kaoru opened her mouth to protest. 

"You still need rest!" 

Kaoru frowned, feeling frustrated. But she gave in anyways. Kaoru closed her eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

Kenshin sighed in self defeat. He was returning to the dojo. He missed them to much and that knawing feeling in the pit of his stomach didn't make it any better._ "I'll just see if everything is okay. Then I'll leave. No one has to see me. No one **will** see me."_ He told himself as he made his way through the forest. _"Then...then I'm going straight back towards Kyoto."_

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

The next morning while Yahiko was practicing with his shinai, Megumi came into the dojo and before Kaoru was awake. 

"Yahiko, I have to talk to you about Kaoru." Megumi stated. 

"What's wrong?" He asked as he wiped the perspiration off of his forehead with his sleeve. 

"Well, Kaoru doesn't seem to remember Kenshin at all and...I don't know if we should tell her...I don't want her to try to...kill herself again." Megumi said ruefully. 

"Oh..." 

"I was thinking that maybe later today we could go find Sanosuke and decide if we should tell her or not. I mean...since she saw Saitou last light he and her called the 'battousai's woman' she's asking questions. She doesn't seem to remember anything Yahiko." She stated. 

"Sure...what should we say for right now? Before we talk about it?" He asked. 

"Nothing...Don't tell her." 

"Okay." 

**Translations:**

Onegai-please 

Shinai-a sword made out of bamboo. Yahiko's sword. 

Matte-wait 

**Author's notes:** Well, I finally got this one done. Now the story is changing drastically from my original. I had lots of fun writing this one with my parents getting on the computer and staying on for a few hours when I got up to go to the bath room or something. The space bar isn't working well either, buuuut, I just love getting all those good reviews and the good ol' feeling of finally getting another chapter on the internet. It's probably going to be a while until my next chapter. I don't have much time around this place. Well, I have to leave now. I was hoping to get another chapter up tomorrow but I guess not. Please review. Buh-bye! 

Oh yeah, sorry for all the mistakes I made in the last chapter. I was probably really tired or something. I think I fixed most of them. Anyways, bye! 

(Re-edited) 


	6. To Forget or Not to Forget?

Departure Scars

**Chapter 6:**

"To forget or not to forget?"

"She doesn't seem to remember anything Yahiko." Megumi stated.

"So...then what should we say for right now? Before we talk about it?" He asked.

"Nothing...Don't tell her." 

"Okay."

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

The next day Megumi and Yahiko left for the marketplace before Kaoru was awake. They tracked down Sanosuke at a small gambling shack and dragged him to the Akebeko to involve Tae in the conversation, since she was indeed Kaoru's best friend. 

"Kaoru is suffering from amnesia--" Megumi began.

"So you mean, she doesn't remember anything?" Sanosuke blurted. Megumi smacked him on the head. "Ow!"

"I wasn't finished yet rooster head." Megumi snapped. "Anyways, she does remember all of us, but not Kenshin."

"Yeah, last night she woke me up accidentally and I saw her go outside. I thought that she was going to leave, but then Saitou showed up and called her the battousai's woman or something. Now she's asking questions about that." Yahiko informed.

"I don't know whether we should tell her or not. I'm sure that none of us wants her try to commit suicide again. I'm sure that if she did know and tried to commit suicide again, that she wouldn't survive this time, especially since she's not completely healed yet. But there's also the fact that if she recovers she'll probably be very angry with us. So what to you thing we should do about this?" Megumi concluded. The group looked thoughtful.

"Well, what if Kenshin returns, I mean, what would happen then?" Tae spoke.

"I guess it depends on if we tell her or we don't. If he does return and then she might remember or she might not." Said Megumi. Tae sighed. She didn't know what to do. This was a hard decision.

"I don't think we should tell her." Said Sanosuke. "She'll be really pissed at us for not telling her, but it's for her own good. I think she'll understand. We're worried about her." They were silent for a moment. "So what do you guys think?"

"I don't know which one to pick. I'll go with everybody's choice." Said Tae.

"Well...even if we regret it...I think that not telling her is best." Admitted Megumi. "We can't let her just throw her life away...she'll recover." She looked a bit sad. 

Everyone's heads then turned to Yahiko.

"Well, I guess I have to decide then...um...Megumi has a good point I guess...so..." His voice trailed off and he looked extremely thoughtful. "We don't tell Kaoru." The group nodded and moved to the next subject.

"So what do we say if she asks questions?" Sanosuke asked. 

"Tell her you don't remember...that you only remember what she remembers...or maybe try to change the subject." Megumi answered.

"Do you really think that some excuse like that will work with her?" Tae looked sceptical.

"This is the best we can do for now." Megumi replied.

"Okay."

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

He jumped over the dojo walls and landed gracefully on the front yard. His violet narrow eyes scanned the area. No one seemed to be around. He mutely stepped onto the veranda and made his way to the rice paper door to Kaoru's room. Kenshin inhaled the wooden scent of the dojo he had missed. He had missed a lot of things...but there was something he had longed for even more. 

Kaoru.

He pulled a shoji open barely enough to let one eye peak in. Her room was pretty much the same except two disturbing things. The floor had a large, dark stain on it and the jasmine scent her room kept was partially faded by the smell of blood. That scared him. The smell wasn't too strong but the stain was pretty big. His long for Kaoru was replaced with extreme worry. _"Is she dead!?...No no! I can't think like that...but what if...no! She's fine...there has to be some **other** logical reason why blood is here."_ He opened the shoji a little more. He could feel Kaoru's ki so he knew she had to be in there. He listened quietly and heard quiet thuds in the floor. Footsteps. He could hear quiet humming. It was her beautiful voice. 

Yes! She was just fine! He was so relieved that his knees felt weak. Oh, he had missed her so much! Even just to hear her quiet voice made his nerves calm. But he wanted to see her. To see those beautiful ocean blue eyes that always sparkled with life. Her skin that was so soft and always glowed after sword practice. Her hair was gorgeous and felt so silky if he ever was given the lucky chance to touch it. She was so wonderful, wonderful in every way. He wished he could of told her how much he--

"Hey, busu! Are you awake yet?" Hollered a young male voice that nearly gave Kenshin a heart attack. He snapped the door shut and whirled around. Panicking, he jumped onto the roof and hopped over the gates without a sound. He ran at full speed into the woods. 

When he felt that if was okay to stop, he slowed and turned around to look behind him. No one. _"Good."_ He thought with relief. That was too close. _"But, I still didn't get to see her...I did tell myself that I would see if everything was okay...and...that includes her." _He reasoned to inwardly and sat down on a tree log. _"I guess I could come back late tonight when everyone is sleeping. Then I'll start going back to Kyoto right away." _He nodded to himself and gathered some firewood for heat that night. _"Now what should I do for dinner?"_

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

"How are you feeling Kaoru?" asked Megumi as she began to change Kaoru wrappings again. "You look a bit better now." She smiled.

"I'm feeling much better, Megumi-san. I just hurts a little bit when I walk and if I turn, but I'm sure that it will go away soon." She informed and smiled back.

"You should clean your wound twice a day and change the bandages before you go to bed everynight." Instructed Megumi. Kaoru nodded obediently and sighed. Megumi noticed this. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Megumi-san, I can't remember...what happened." Kaoru replied.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I don't know how I got this huge wound on my chest!" She blurted, her mood changing quickly. Megumi was quiet for a moment.

"When someone receives a traumatic injury, sometimes the victim suffers from amnesia for a while, or rarely for the rest of their lives." Megumi recited, wanting to turn the subject to something else.

"Oh." Kaoru lifted her arms while Megumi tied the bandages securely. "What was so traumatic, though...can't you tell me why that I have this wound?" 

"Well...I don't know..." she lied. "...You shouldn't worry about it right now."

"Humph. That's what you said last night Megumi-san!" she sulked and glared at the doctor.

"That's because you still shouldn't worry about it." Megumi repeated.

"But, I want to know!" Kaoru protested. 

"Hush!" she ordered. Kaoru was quiet. Megumi rose to her feet. "You'll know when the time is right." Megumi said softly and left the room. Kaoru glared at the floor. She felt like she was being treated like a child that had just gotten caught sneaking cookies. _"Why won't she tell me?! I'm not a child. I can handle the truth!" _She sighed and went to the dojo to _ instruct_ Yahiko, since she couldn't practice.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Later, that afternoon, Megumi, Yahiko, Kaoru, and Sanosuke had sat down to eat lunch. Kaoru was very quiet. She hadn't eaten in several days so she had to to eat carefully so she wouldn't vomit. She took a small bite of tofu and chewed uncomfortably. _"For not eating in such a long time, I sure don't feel very hungry...I just feel like something is...missing." _She thought and swallowed. Her eyes scanned the others around her. A spark flickered in her eyes when an idea struck her mind. She looked at Sanosuke as a grin played with her lips. _"I know...I'll just ask Sanosuke. He has to know **something**." _

**Translations:**

Hai-yes

**Author's Notes:** Well, then. Another chapter finished. The next one is going to be big cliff hanger. Hee hee! I was going to add the big cliff hanger into this one but I thought it would be too long for me and I have to go to school in the morning. It's already late. Um...oh, yeah! When I do the spell check the options to change some of the words are: Hitokiri- hooker and Yahiko- yahoo. I thought that was funny because I pictured Kenshin standing on the side of the road wearing dark red lipstick and lingerie. And Yahiko singing that is too funny! Okay...um I'll shut up now. Please R&R! I hope you like it! Thank you so much for all your reviewing!


	7. To Remember

Departure Scars

**Chapter 7:**

"To Remember" 

Her eyes scanned the others around her. A spark flickered in her eyes when an idea struck her mind. She looked at Sanosuke as a grin played with her lips._ "I know...I'll just ask Sanosuke. He has to know **something**." _

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

"Sanosuke." Kaoru called while Megumi did the dishes. 

"What is it Jou-chan." He asked. 

"Well...um...I was wondering if you could answer some questions I have...?" 

"It depends on what the questions are." He replied, giving her a little smirk.

"Well, I can't really remember what happened to me...and Megu--" She cut herself off, thinking whether what she was about to say was a good idea; especially the Megumi part.

"And, what?" 

"Do you know what happened to me...I mean...concerning my wound?" Kaoru hoped her would tell her. She hated the empty feeling that kept on bugging her and wanted to know why it was there. 

"No." Sanosuke said flatly.

"What!?" Kaoru nearly yelled, startling Sanosuke. _"This can't be right! He has to know something!"_ Kaoru glared at him. "You don't even know a _ single_ thing?"

"No." He repeated. _"I can't believe this! Ugh! I bet he's lying! Yeah. He's lying!"_ She peered at his blank face carefully. He gave her an innocent look. 

"Oh, really?" 

"I don't know what happened to you Jou-chan. I mean it." He lied, keeping face. It had to be very realistic so he could convince her. Kaoru was could be very sharp at this when what she wanted to know something that was important and Sanosuke didn't want to suffer from Megumi's wrath or see Kaoru in pain either.

"I don't think so." She implied.

"I don't know Jou-chan!"

"Humph!" Kaoru huffed and glared at him. Sanosuke sulked.

"Jou-chan, don't look at me like that!" He pouted innocently. "I really don't know anything!" Kaoru turned and walked away grumbling to herself.

"Mou..." _"I know he's lying. But, why would he do that? There has to be some reason! Who else would know...Yahiko!" _Kaoru turned on her heel and walked to the back of the dojo, where Yahiko was finishing, scrubbing the veranda.

"Ano...Yahiko?" Kaoru began. Yahiko stopped scrubbing and looked up. Kaoru squatted down to his level and continued. "Do you know anything...about what happened to me?" She asked, feeling hopeful again. She gave him a small smile.

"Happened to you when?" He asked and turned back to his scrubbing. 

"When I got my wound here." Kaoru patted her upper chest, even though he wasn't looking.

"I don't know anything about that. Why would I?" Yahiko dipped the cloth into the round bucket of water.

"Because you _live_ here!" Kaoru pointed out, getting annoyed all over again. 

"What makes you think it happened here?"

"There _is_ a huge blood stain on the floor in my room!" She reminded. Yahiko was quiet; acting like he forgot what they had just been talking about. He scrubbed the floor again, moving away from her.

"Well?" Kaoru said impatiently after not getting an answer.

"Well, what?"

"Do you know what happened to me!?" She forced through clenched teeth. _"Dammit, this is ridiculous!"_

"No." The word came out so simple and that frustrated Kaoru even more.

"Why not?!" 

"I wasn't here." 

"Why didn't you say that in the first place!?" She growled.

"You didn't ask." Yahiko replied. She fumed, stood up, whirled around and began to stomp off. "Oi! Where are you going?" 

She didn't answer. 

"Where around you going?" He repeated.

"For a walk." Kaoru snapped and shut the door noisily. Yahiko let out a light chuckle._ "Mission accomplished."_

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kaoru grumbled to herself as she walked along the dirt road, into town. People were darting about, rambling about prices and asking questions at food stalls. _"Megumi won't tell me, Sanosuke won't tell me and either will Yahiko! Mou! Why?! It's **my** body! It's **my** wound! I have the right to know! Megumi won't even answer the simple question about the 'Battousai's Woman'. I better not be someone's wife! Oh, Kami-sama! I know that at least one of them is lying."_ Kaoru thought as she passed the Akabeko. _"Maybe I should ask Tae."_

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kaoru left Dr. Genzai's muttering things. No one knew what happened to her...well, they acted like they didn't. She marched down the path back home. _"Something's not right! I have to find a way to get it out of them!" _Kaoru slowed to a stop at the sound of water. She remembering the grassy bank and the sparkling stream that she always would sit before. 

She was about to sit down when she paused at a sudden feeling...sadness? Anxiousness? Fear? She couldn't really tell but she felt as if she could be becoming depressed. _"Depressed? How could I be depressed? There is nothing to be depressed about! You're supposed to be angry because your close friends are lying to you."_ Kaoru told herself mentally. But still...it did sadden her to know that she couldn't really trust them. 

She picked up a twig and dipped it into the water, watching the small fish dart away with fear. She sighed and tossed the little stick behind her.

Suddenly, a snatch of red. 

Kaoru lifted her gaze to a large tree and stood up. She hopped over the stream and held her breath. Was someone there? 

Something crunched under her sandals. A poorly made fishing pole stuck out from under her foot and a fish lay dead, to the side of it. Someone was here! Kaoru peered cautiously at a large tree, around where the red came from.As silently as possible, Kaoru crept towards the large tree trunk. _"If someone is there...why would they hide from me?" _She wondered.Then, she jerked her head to the side and looked behind the trunk. 

Another snatch of red and nothing. 

She jerked her body the other way. 

Red. Nothing. 

This repeated again and again until she held her head in the same position and person turned, whipping something right into her face. 

Red.

Kaoru stumbled backwards a few feet and looked at the person that stood there with a mixed expression on his face. Red hair, violet eyes, a cross shaped scar, a magenta gi and a sword at his left side. None other than...

_"Iye..." _

Both of their eyes widened. It was...

Kaoru shook her head as her vision blurred and she saw nothing but him. His hello. His soft gaze. His amber eyes. How he used to hold her so protectively after he saved her. How so much of him was a mystery. How much she loved him. How warm he was when he hugged her. Then how her heart broke when he left.

Kaoru's lips parted. A word formed on her tongue. It dangled there like a dead petal on a blossom. 

It was the lie.

It was her lost piece. 

Her memory. 

It was...

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

**Translations:**

Jo-chan- little girl, little missy. Sanosuke's nickname for Kaoru.

Ano- um

Gi- Kenshin's shirt

Iye- no

Mou- I don't know how do describe this. Um... maybe a form of exasperation? Almost a sigh.

Kami- God

Gomen- sorry

**Author's Notes:** Oh, I'm mean aren't? Leaving all you Kenshin fans hanging there. Tee hee. ^_^ I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. I've now totally gone from my original. I didn't even need my little book it was written in. So, now I have to think this up carefully. Okay, um...I hope you like it. Please review. I like to know what everyone thinks. Any opinions on what should happen? Maybe I could add them in later in the fic... 

(Re-edited)


	8. Another Chance

Departure Scars

**Chapter 8:**

"Another Chance" 

Kaoru shook her head as her vision blurred and she saw nothing but him. His hello. His soft gaze. His amber eyes. How he used to hold her so protectively after he saved her. How so much of him was a mystery. How much she loved him. How warm he was when he hugged her. Then how her heart broke when he left. 

Kaoru's lips parted. A word formed on her tongue. It dangled there like a dead petal on a blossom. 

It was the lie.

It was her lost piece. 

Her memory. 

It was...

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kaoru stepped back and inhaled sharply at the sudden coldness to her foot. Her thoughts forgotten for the moment she glanced down. She had stepped into the stream. Her sock was completely soaked._ "Crap."_ Kaoru pulled her foot out and shook it a bit. She looked back up at the swordsman before her. He hadn't moved. He was just standing there; staring at her. His violet eyes were a bit widened but the rest of him remained blank. Kaoru just stared back. 

_"Isn't he supposed to be in Kyoto? Didn't he leave like... a week or two ago. And he stayed in the forest? What? What about that guy...Saitou...no...it was Shishio. Doesn't he have to go to a battle with him? But he's here...in the forest...What if he just left partly because...he didn't like us anymore...I guess my cooking was pretty bad...Yahiko and I did bicker a lot...he did have to do a lot of chores...but...leaving because of that? What if it was me? Am I too ugly? Too air headed? Too grumpy? Too violent?...violent... Oh my Kami..." _Kaoru's eyes flickered down to her chest. _"I wasn't attacked...I did it...me!"_ She shook her head lightly and crossed her thin hands over her chest. She bit her lip._ "I did it because...he left... And then no one would tell me what happened...that's why."_

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kenshin hadn't the faintest idea what to do about this. He was shocked when Kaoru showed up and almost thought that she had fallowed him without his knowledge. But then, he was completely stunned when he actually saw her. She was so thin! Her eyes had dark, unhealthy shadows beneath them and her cheek bones had become much, much more defined. Her hair was in her trademark ponytail as usual but it looked a odd against her abnormally pain skin. Was she sick? He watched as she seemed to be thinking hard. Maybe trying to figure something out? She shook her head and raise her arms across her chest. _"Kaoru-dono...I've missed you so much...what happened to you? I'm so sorry for leaving you!" _He was so confused and worried. _"What should I do now. Does she hate me? Does she want me back? Want me back! Ha! After I left her like that! Why would she even want me in the first place?!" _He began scolding himself mentally. 

And so they stood there; not saying a word. Just staring at each other in deep thought. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kaoru started to get sick of the silence around them. Every time she stopped focusing on him, her thoughts would make her feel more and more unnerved and confused. Who knew how long they had been just standing there. She licked her lips nervously and parted them. A word formed on her tongue. Her voice cracked and nothing came out. She couldn't say it. She couldn't say his name. _"What **is** his name?! I can't remember. I can recall how I met him...when he held my hand in the rain...when he left, but his name...What is it?!" _She frowned. _"Maybe I should just say something..."_

"Um..." _"Perfect...I guess"_

He blinked several times. "Hai, Kaoru-dono..?" He asked quietly.

Now she didn't know what to say.

"Sorry..." the words blurted out of her mouth. They both looked surprised. Sorry for what? "Um...stay here...I'll be back...tonight..." more words slipped out before she could even stop herself.

Kaoru whirled around and walked away quickly, hopping over the stream first. She wanted to run; run as fast as she could. To feel the wind lead her to freedom but she was restricted. She had tight kimono on and a deep wound between her breasts that was still healing. 

_"I **will** come back! And you better be there!..."_

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

The rest of the day Kaoru hadn't said anything about going to the stream nor Kenshin. She didn't even speak of wanting to know what happened to her. Of course she already knew, but they didn't know that she knew what they knew. Okay?

During dinner, since Kaoru had nothing really to talk about and her mind was preoccupied on what she would say that night, the other's were getting concerned.

"So Jou-chan, where have you did you go all afternoon?" asked Sanosuke.

"Just for a walk." Kaoru partially lied. 

"Long walk." Yahiko commented slyly.

"I haven't been out for a while." Kaoru cocked an eyebrow. "Did you miss me?"

"No."

"Aw." Kaoru pretended to look hurt and ran her index finger from the corner of her eye and down her cheek. She pouted. "Tear." Yahiko gave her a bored look and sipped his tea.

"Why would I miss something so ugly?" he challenged and grinned. 

"Humph! I'm not ugly!" Kaoru glared, crossing her arms. "And I can't believe that you didn't miss your own sensei! _I_ missed you! I love coming home to _ little _ children, like you Yahiko-_chan_!" Kaoru pounced at him and rapped her arms around him tightly. He wiggled and squirmed, calling out for Sanosuke or Megumi to help him.

"Let go of me busu! I don't like you that way! Sanosuke, Megumi help me!" Sanosuke just sat there laughing and the young, distressed 'samurai' and Megumi continued eating. Kaoru gave him another tight squeeze and let go. She laughed as he ran down the hall muttering something about a bathing.

Kaoru smiled. She felt happy light headedly happy. Even though she had remembered all of the horrible things that happened she felt relieved. The empty feeling she had, had was gone, she would get to see _him_ tonight and maybe he would come back. 

**Translations:**

Hai- yes

Kami- God

Busu- ugly

Minna- everyone

**Author's Notes:** Well, it's been a looong while since I wrote another chapter. I was very busy with school, lessons and such. Next it's every author's good friend, the Writer's Block! Now I have some extra time and I got some idea's so here it is! I think I got the rest of this fic figured out. Please review! I would love to hear your opinions on this and any idea's for later in the fic! Sorry for making minna wait so long! Please review!

P.S.: This chapter would have been on _ much_ sooner if not for technical difficulties. 

P.S.S.: I've been trying to log on to fanfiction.net for months with no success. Even before the major update. I had no clue _what_ could be wrong. It was like the page would just refresh every single damn time I would try to log in!! But now...for some reason, out of the blue I decided to try again for the trillionth time and...IT WORKED!!! I ran around the house screaming and jumping! lol I was soooo happy! hee hee! Now I can update again! YAY!!

~*Minakokiss*~


	9. Late Night Visit

Departure Scars

**Chapter 9:**

"Late Night Visit" 

Kaoru smiled. She felt happy light headedly happy. Even though she had remembered all of the horrible things that happened she felt relieved. The empty feeling she had, had was gone, she would get to see _him_ tonight and maybe he would come back.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Late that night, after everyone had gone to sleep, Kaoru changed from her Yukata, back into her Kimono. She took out her braid and raised her hair into her usual ponytail. She picked up her zori so no one would hear her in the halls and crept outside, into the darkness of the night. It was cool out. The air was still and quiet. She couldn't even hear the crickets. The moon was crescent and there were only a few stars. 

Kaoru slipped on her zori and left the dojo grounds. Listening to her own rhythmic breathing and the quiet scuffing of her feet. When she got to the stream she hopped over it and made her way through tall grass. It was pitch black in the forest and quiet as death. Her heart began to beat faster. She walked deeper into the woods. Kaoru rested her hand over her chest and steadied her uneven breathing. _"Where is he?"_ Her eyes darted around the eerie brush. She walked further. Then she saw the orange glow in the distance. Far away, but that had to be his camp! Why had he it set up so far away? She shrugged to herself and continued to the flames.

About halfway there she heard something...the cracking of twigs around her. Her eyes flickered from the fire to the darkness around her. She couldn't see a thing except for large bushes and the thick trunks of threes. She halted. _"It's probably just me." _Kaoru thought and felt stupid. Another snap. Her eyes widened. She hadn't been walking. Something was there. A person? _"No! I'm so stupid! It's probably just an animal or something. A racoon."_ She began walking again, carefully taking each step. Listening just in case.

_**Snap!**_

Kaoru gasped quietly and jumped to her left. Right into a tree. She held her breath and froze herself. Her body was gripped with fear as the outline of another silhouette moved slowly towards hers. _"Maybe they won't see me."_ She thought and held her breath longer. 

The figure got closer. She could hear it breathing. She wanted to breath. It was walking at an unbearably slow pace and she couldn't hold her breath forever. Kaoru pressed her entire frame against the trunk, as if she was willing her body to mold into it. She struggled to hold her breath in longer. _"Just go away!"_ Kaoru bit her lip. Closer. She couldn't take it anymore. She blew out the air in her lungs and gulped in more. The figure stopped. It was looking towards her. _"Oh, no."_ She looked at the fire, back to the figure and took off running. _"Maybe it won't catch me in time."_ Immediately after she ran a few yards her chest began throbbing. She clutched the fabric over her breasts tightly. The fire was getting closer to her view. _"I hope I don't reopen this wound again! It hurts..." _She heard quick foot steps behind her. The person was chasing her! 

"Hey!" The stranger called. She slowed. That voice was sounded familiar. It was right behind her. The person had caught up at an alarming rate. It grabbed her shoulder and she stopped. "Chotto!" It was him! That...guy she knew. What was he doing way out here? Wasn't that his camp over there? 

Her train of thought was interrupted by a sudden burst of air from her lungs. She wheezed and bent over coughing. The man patted her back gently. 

"Daijoubu?" He sounded worried. _"I'm so stupid. I should of just asked who was there." _They thought simultaneously. Kaoru's coughing faded slowly and she managed to speak.

"Daijoubu ka." 

"Are you sick?"

"No." She answered and they began walking to his camp. They were silent the whole way. He listened to her breathing. He could hear a slight wheeze every time she inhaled. She was looking down at her feet. Her mouth was slightly open, gulping in oxygen. 

"Really?" 

"Hai."

They both arrived at the mini bon fire and sat down. He offered her his blanket that he kept for sleeping but Kaoru declined politely. Again they were surrounded by uncomfortable silence. The two of them just sat there staring at the flickering golden flames. 

"Why did you come back tonight?" The swordsman finally spoke.

"Because I...well..." Kaoru trailed off. She didn't really know why she came. She just did. To prove something? And what would that something be? "I wanted...to see why you had stayed." She finished lamely. She looked into his eyes. The fire made them glow flickering, soft gold. Yet, she could still see the violet orbs beneath it. It was as if he had become a gentle battousai. 

"I couldn't leave." His answer even worse. Kenshin couldn't leave and he couldn't tell her why. After what he had done to her. Leaving her in tears like that, the bloody hand prints on his gi. He should of at least escorted her to the dojo gates. "Are your hands better?" He asked.

"My hands?" She ran her fingers lightly over her other palm. She felt the slight traces of small scars and a few scabs. "They're fine." She fisted them for a moment and then let them relax. _"Unlike other parts of me."_

"That's good de gozaru..."

"Uh..." She eyed the fire nervously. _"Come on Kaoru, you've got to talk about more than just this...you like him don't you? And you're glad he's still here, so say something!"_ Her mind scolded her. "I really need to tell you...something that's...important." She mumbled without warning.

"What is it?"

"...Sorry."

"Hm?"

"Gomen nasai for acting like that...when you left. It's just...I didn't want you to leave and...um...I knew that I would miss you so much and....I always knew that...you would leave someday for something...I guess I couldn't except it that well because......I...I...uh...liked...you...a lot...maybe even...loved you and I couldn't understand why you had to go...It was so childish of me, but I understand now...I really do and I'm sorry for the way every thing happened...and is now." She confessed in a sudden rush. Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry..." She repeated. 

**Translations:**

Hai- yes

De gozaru- kenshin's way of ending some frases. Like 'indeed it is' ect.

Nani- what

Gomen/gomen nasai- sorry/ I'm sorry

Daijoubu/daijoubu ka- Are you alright, are you okay/I'm fine, I'm alright/okay ect.

Yukata- Japanese clothing worn for bed, after a bath, or in the spring or summer

Chotto- wait

Gi- Kenshin's shirt

Zori- Japanese sandles, like a flip-flop

**Author's Notes: **Well, another chapter finished while waiting to be able to log in on the site. Many technical difficulties I see. I enjoyed writing this chapter. Our author's little friend Mr. Writer's Block has suddenly decided to go bug somebody else for a while. Maybe Midori? She hasn't added a chapter to Ballad of the Lonely Heart in a long while. Poor Midori-san! *huggles* (and huggles to any other poor author suffering from his friendly visit.) Anywho, I guess that's all...sorry for the delays everyone. I hope you're enjoying my fic! Please review! I love reviews!! They make me happy!! 

P.S.: This chapter would have been on _ much_ sooner if not for technical difficulties. 

Also, this is about a review I got from LittleDragon5. Yea, I agree that Kaoru is strong enough not to kill herself, but without that little OOCness where would my story be? I also looked back on my old chapters and was horrified at how horrible they were. I can't believe that I got any reviews! So I am going to re-edit them and fix up the story a bit. More on that later. 


	10. Make it Better

Departure Scars

**Chapter 10:**

"Make it better" 

I...I...uh...liked...you...a lot...maybe even...loved you and I couldn't understand why you had to go...It was so childish of me, but I understand now...I really do and I'm sorry for the way every thing happened...and is now." She confessed in a sudden rush. Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry..." She repeated.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kaoru could feel her face growing hot and the tears in her eyes burned, but she had to see him. Did he resent her now? Slowly, she turned her face to his. It wasn't what she had expected. His face was of half surprise and half relief. _"Relief?" _She gave a shuddering sigh.

"If...you don't feel for me...that way...I understand...I mean...if you just liked me as I friend or sister...you can say if you want to...I can take it. It wouldn't be as bad as you leaving--I-I mean...um...sorry...I..." Her face tightened up, suppressing her unshed tears. Her lip trembled in regret. _"Oh God...could I have said anything stupider?!"_

"It's alright." He assured, his voice barely a whisper. Kaoru gave him a puzzled look. "I do feel for you Kaoru-dono." She felt disappointment drop into her stomach. "Probably as much as you do for me." Her eyes lit up and her heart pounded. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I guess I just thought that it would be to dangerous to be with you like that. Someone could of tried to attack you or murder you. But...I've been thinking. Jin-eh held you hostage and so did the pirates. My opinion didn't really have much effect." He paused. "But I am so sorry for the way I left you. I don't know what I can do to have your forgiveness. Maybe what I did isn't forgivable, but..." 

"Hey, hey...it's alright. I forgive you. I just told you I understood why you left didn't I?" She reminded softly. He nodded. 

"Hai..." 

"But you really love me?" Kaoru could barely suppress the urge to jump into his lap and kiss him. Her tears flowed over her cheeks. A smile formed on her young face. 

"Aa...I love you." He answered shyly. That was it. In a burst of ecstatic happiness, Kaoru lunged her body forward against his and rapped her arms around his neck tightly. She inhaled his masculine sent and let her fingertips lightly brush against his soft red hair. She could feel the lean muscles under his gi against her chest. They were firm and soft. A lot less tense then they had been the last time she had been against him. 

"I love you too." She whispered into his ear as the moment they shared became a piece of forever in her heart. She had longed for a moment with her love like this since she could remember. She had missed him unbearably! She felt his arms move up and lay gently around her middle back, pulling her closer to him. For how long they stayed in the warm comfort of each other's arms was unknown. It seem to last only a second to them as they leaned apart finally. 

"Do you have to go back to Kyoto now?" Kaoru asked, breaking the comfortable silence. 

"...Aa." He answered. Her eyes cast downwards. She fought the surge of sadness, but she wouldn't let herself act the way she did last time. 

Then a sudden idea popped into her head. 

"Could I go with you?" she looked into his eyes pleadingly. "Onegai?" 

"It wouldn't be safe for you...Someone could attack us at any time and I don't think I could protect you _ and_ me." He said ruefully. 

"Well...we could come after you and stay at a inn in Kyoto." she suggested. "I really don't want you do go to battle...I hate it when you fight and get injured. But I guess I have no choice...so...I understand that you have to and I'll wait for you." 

"That could work..." He admitted. 

"Good!" Kaoru hugged him again and sat back down on the ground. They watched the fire for a while longer each grinning subconsciously in happiness and relief. 

"Ano...will you come stay at the dojo tonight?" Kaoru asked. "I don't want you to stay out in the cold again. Nothing in your room has changed since you left. Except maybe a little dust." 

"It'll be alright with you?" He seemed surprised. 

"Sure!" 

"I guess it would be okay." He replied. "I just need to get my things." He stood up and brushed the dirt of the back of his pants with his hands. Kaoru stood up as well and began to smother the fire while he folded up his blanket and stuffed it into his small traveling bag. 

"Hey um...can I ask you something?" She asked. 

"Go right ahead." 

"Ano...what is your...name?" Kaoru wondered, very embarrassed. 

"My _name_?" He echoed, looking puzzled. 

"...Yeah." 

"It's Himura Kenshin de gozaru. Why do you ask?" He said still seeming confused. 

"Well I sort of...hit my head while you were gone and uh, forget a couple of things...like your name." Kaoru stammered. 

"How did you do that?!" 

"Oh, well, I was just trying a new technique and it went wrong..." 

"Are you alright?!" 

"I'm perfectly fine." Kaoru lied, waving her hand in dismissal of the subject. 

"Did you forget anything else?" He asked curiously. 

"Nope. Just that." She lied again, not wanting to go into the details. She never wanted him to know how horridly she had acted in his absence and what she had done to everyone...and to herself. She felt so ashamed that it almost made her sick. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

When they arrived at the dojo, Kenshin found that in fact, his room had not changed a bit. Even the futon he had used before was left was still folded up on the floor, in the middle of the room, unmoved. 

"Yes...it's a bit dusty." Kaoru said thoughtfully.

"That's alright." Kenshin assured, smiling through the darkness. "What about tomorrow?" He asked urgently.

"Tomorrow...I don't know."

"What will Yahiko, Sanosuke Megumi do?"

"Um...I'll tell them..." Kaoru paused, remembering that he was usually the one to wake first. " Stay in your room until I come and get you. I'll figure the rest out when it happens..." She answered slowly. Kenshin nodded. 

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning then. Oyasuminasai Kaoru-dono." He stepped forwards slightly.

"Oyasuminasai." Kaoru replied, rapping her arms around him. Kenshin pulled her against him gently and embraced her. 

"Aishiteru _Kaoru_." he whispered. She smiled. Kenshin had just called her by her name, without the respectful and sometimes annoying, 'dono'. She hugged him tighter. 

"I love you too, Kenshin." She whispered, turning her head upwards, so she could look into his eyes. She leaned against him, licking her lips subconiously. She could feel the heat of his breath flowing gently on her face. His lips parted. And in one moment they joined. They're warm lips pushing against one another; letting the heat of their love flow together. Their delayed happiness finally united for an instant. And in one moment they parted, looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

"Good night..." They whispered and separated for the nights rest.

**Translations:**

Aa- yes, yeah

Gi- Kenshin's shirt

Onegai- please

Ano- um

De gozaru- Kenshin's little thingy he says at the end of a sentence. Like, 'indeed it is' ect.

Oyasuminasai- good night

Aishiteru- I love you

**Author's Notes: **Well! I finished another chapter! Summer's here and I think I might get this story finished by the end of the summer...maybe. I hope you like my fic so far! 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! ^_^ I ALWAYS LIKE REVIEWS!

Anyways, right now I'm hoping that I can get the rest of this fic online because the thingy isn't working! STILL!!! *grrr* You have _no_ idea how much this bugs me! *bangs head on desk*

P.S. I'm so glad I don't have to feel like that anymore.*grins* Yay it still works!! ^-^


	11. I'll Try

Departure Scars

**Chapter 11:**

"I'll Try" 

She leaned against him, licking her lips subconiously. She could feel the heat of his breath flowing gently on her face. His lips parted. And in one moment they joined. They're warm lips pushing against one another; letting the heat of their love flow together. Their delayed happiness finally united for an instant. And in one moment they parted. Looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

"Good night..." They whispered and separated for the nights rest.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Early the next morning Kaoru awoke to the soft singing of birds outside. She silently rose from her futon, folded it up and put it away. Next she sat down in front of her dresser and picked up some fresh, clean bandages. Kaoru looked at them for a moment, remembering everything that had happened and she began to worry.

_"I can't tell Kenshin what I did...I can't...he would be so upset. What if Megumi or Yahiko or Sanosuke tell him what I did?...But they don't even know that he's here...they don't even know that I remember! Why didn't they tell me what happened? Oh Kami...how am I going do all this?!"_

Kaoru looked thoughtful and began removing the wrappings around her chest.

_ "Well...I have to go first things first. I have to hide the bandages...then...I'll go out and tell all of them that he's here...but how in the hell am I going to do that?!...um...Think Kaoru, think!...let's see...maybe this is just one of those things that you suddenly blurt out. I guess I'll do that during breakfast. That should have an interesting affect..."_

A little part of her wound had barely opened from her sudden run the previous night but it wasn't too bad. Kaoru thought that her injury actually looked a lot better. She gently dabbed a cloth onto it, wincing slightly and began to re-bandage it.

_"Even after I tell them, I can't teach lessons or help Yahiko and I can't practice either. So I won't have any income at all. How am I going to feed them, let alone myself **and** keep Kenshin from finding out?! I'm starting to wish that I hadn't done that to myself."_

Kaoru put on her nice, flowery kimono and combed her hair.

_"...Alright! First of all...hide the bandages and rest a lot so this wound will heal quickly."_

She looked around her room thoughtfully.

_"Find some way to clean the huge blood spot on the floor or cover it up. Maybe I could redo the tatami mats there. But I'll have to do that it worst comes to worst. And Kenshin can smell blood...so I should really take care of that soon...actually, I can smell it myself so I need to get that done today."_

Kaoru frowned, eyeing the stain. Then she turned and slid the shoji open. Glancing back at her room once more she stepped out and shut the shoji.

_"That'll give me something to do other than train Yahiko."_

She entered the kitchen to nearly bump into Megumi, who was bringing out breakfast.

"Oh, you're up. I was just going to send Yahiko to wake you. How are you feeling?" she asked as she walked out into the next room and set the food on the low table. 

"I'm fine. The wound is looking a lot better." Kaoru smiled reassuringly. 

"That's good to hear." Megumi said. Kaoru nodded and walked to the open doorway. Yahiko and Sanosuke sat bickering on the porch. _"Doesn't look like he went to wake me up."_

"I say _you're_ the stupidest person I've ever met _rooster _ head." 

"No one could be stupider than you in a _million_ years Yahiko-_chan_!"

"What?! I'm not the one who fell of the porch!"

"You liar!"

"Oh, shut up! It's time for breakfast." Kaoru interrupted. Yahiko and Sanosuke stopped bickering and fallowed her inside. 

Breakfast began quiet, like it had been since Kenshin left. No one seemed to notice the nervous way Kaoru picked at her food, trying to get the right moment to blurt out the truth. She nibbled on her rice and then suddenly slammed her chopsticks down. The group jumped and giving her a questioning looks. 

"He's here!" Kaoru exclaimed, then glanced around uncomfortably. 

"Who?" The other three said in unison. 

"Um...Kenshin." 

"Whaaat?!" Yahiko cried. 

Megumi dropped her chopsticks and Sanosuke nearly choked on his food. 

"Kenshin is...here?" She repeated nervously. 

"Where?!" Sanosuke demanded. His face held mixed emotions. 

"In...his room." Kaoru replied, meekly. Sanosuke suddenly jumped to his feet. 

"I'm going to kick that bastards goddamn ass!" he growled and began to stomp off. Kaoru ran after him, fallowed by Megumi and then Yahiko. 

"Sano! Wait!" Kaoru yelled. "Stop!" She grabbed the back of his jacket just as he slammed the shoji open angrily. 

"Kenshin you fucking bastard!" Sanosuke yelled dragging Kaoru with him as he stomped up to the Rurouni. 

Kenshin rose to his feet quickly, not flinching as Sanosuke's fist smashed across his face. 

"Sano! Stop this now!" Kaoru yelled as Sanosuke lifted Kenshin back to his feet by his gi. She lunged herself past Sanosuke and grasped the hand that was clutching the magenta fabric. "Sanosuke, stop it!" Kaoru shouted. She gently tugged his fingers away from the gi. "Let me explain. I wasn't finished, before." She looked pleadingly into his eyes. "Please?" Sano sighed and lowered his arm. 

"Fine." he muttered and plopped down onto the floor in front of her. "Explain." The rest of the group lowered themselves to the floor as well. 

"Well..." Kaoru started slowly and began to tell them what happened. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

After a while, without any interruptions, Kaoru finished the story...leaving out some of the personal confessions part. They all sat in silence for a moment thinking about what Kaoru had said. 

"So you want us all to go to Kyoto with Kenshin?" Yahiko questioned. 

"Hai." Kaoru replied. 

"Gomen nasai for not saying goodbye. I should have." Kenshin apologized, bowing lightly. 

"Ken-san, we understand." Megumi inhaled deeply and stood. "As much as I would like to join you, I have to stay and care of patients." She gave him a small smile and quietly walked out of the room. The unusually silent Yahiko left as well. 

Kaoru glanced at Sanosuke curiously. He sat unmoving, seeming to be thinking hard. She looked back at Kenshin. His bangs hid his eyes and his lips were pressed tightly together. She wondered if he was still angry. 

"Well..." Sanosuke spoke. "As long as Jou-chan is happy and well." Kaoru's eyes widened at this. She knew exactly what he was hinting at. Even though she had explained that she found Kenshin and worked things out, she hadn't even touched the subject of her amnesia and the suicide attempt. 

She watched Sanosuke carefully as he left the room. Kaoru knew that she would have to tell Kenshin the truth sooner or later and she dreaded it. Her stomach had started to turn every time it crossed her mind. _"I just know that he's going to angry with me. Really angry."_ She turned towards him._ "Still...I should think about when I'm alone. Kenshin looks really guilty. I know he meant well."_

"Kenshin, it'll be alright. They missed you...it's just been hard for everyone...and that includes you. Just give them some time." Kaoru smiled reassuringly. "C'mon, lets eat breakfast." She gave him a quick peck on the forehead and disappeared behind the door. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Over the next two days things had been going pretty smoothly. Kenshin had resumed doing the laundry, Kaoru had changed the bloody tatami matt and had told Yahiko, Megumi and Sanosuke that she remembered everything and had somehow persuaded them to not tell Kenshin about her suicide attempt and the fact that she had forgotten him completely. She wanted to be able to do it herself...but when and how...she didn't know. Megumi and the others had also explained why they hadn't told her what had happened and Kaoru understood.

They were planning to leave for Kyoto the fourth day after Kenshin had returned. Megumi had instructed that Kaoru needed some rest because she had been 'sick' with the 'flu' and needed extra energy for the trip. Kenshin believed it and had been fussing over her a lot. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

It was the day before they were going to leave. Kaoru had woken up early so she could pack, clean and maybe train a bit. She began with her daily routine of changing her bandages and cleaning the wound. She pulled the wrappings off her body and reached for the fresh, clean ones, hidden under her kimonos. She gently unraveled a long piece of a bandage and ripped it off.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kenshin quietly re-entered the dojo after picking some fresh summer flowers for Kaoru. He was going to set them next to her futon as surprise when she woke up. 

As he walked down the hallway towards her room he gently tried to arrange the flowers so they would look nicer. _"Maybe I could use one of her hair ties to hold them together. I don't think that she would mind. Or I could use mine. I have a few extra."_ He thought. Kenshin quickly slipped into his room and grabbed his hair tie and rapped it around the stems of the flowers. _"Perfect." _He smiled warmly as he slid Kaoru's shoji open.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

"Oops." Kaoru breathed as one of the rolls of bandages dropped to the floor. She carefully bent over to pick it up. When she sat back up her whole body froze as she noticed the figure standing in her bedroom doorway. Her mind went numb. A wave a shock flowed over her body, making her jump to her feet. Her arms clamped over her naked chest and she let out a ear piercing shriek.

The small bouquet of flowers dropped to floor and became forgotten.

Kenshin was unable to move. His expression held complete shock. He stared, horrified at the stunned, half-naked woman before him.

Kaoru took a step back, suddenly breathing heavily.

Realization had just hit her like a brick wall. Her arms pressed tighter around her chest. 

Her dark secret was no more.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

**Translations:**

Shoji- a door with rice paper lining, inside a traditional Japanese house, it has all those squares, y'know?

Kami- god

Gomen nasai- I'm sorry

Jou-chan- Sanosuke's nickname for Kaoru. It means missy/little girl

Hai- yes

**Author's Notes:** Yay! Another chapter done! I hope you liked it! ^-^ I'm trying to get to get one more chapter done before I go on vacation. (I'll be gone for a month, so I won't be updating for a while.) I don't want to lose my idea! I think since I lost a lot of my readers when I wasn't able to update for so long. ;_; *sniff* If you are still reading this fic, please review! I want to know what ya'll think and if anyone is still there!

P.S. I wasn't able to get another chapter done... *sniff* gomen! I'll have to write when I come back...I sorta have to leave in two hours. And a surprise! I guess most of my readers are still there! (^-^ I feel so fuzzy and warm inside now!)


	12. An Internal Pain

Departure Scars

**Chapter 12:**

"An Internal Pain" 

Her whole body froze as she noticed the figure standing in her bedroom doorway. Her mind went numb. A wave a shock flowed over her body, making her snap to her feet. Her arms clamped over her naked chest and she let out a ear piercing shriek.

The small bouquet of flowers dropped to floor and became forgotten.

Kenshin was unable to move. His eyes were wide in complete shock. He starred, horrified at the stunned, half-naked woman before him.

Kaoru took a step back, suddenly breathing heavily.

Realization had just hit her like a brick wall. Her arms pressed tighter around her chest. 

Her dark secret was no more.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Suddenly, Sanosuke and Yahiko were jolted awake by a echoing scream. In an instant they both reconized it and bolted out of their rooms, heading straight to Kaoru's. They came to a screeching stop, nearly running into the back of Kenshin. Yahiko and Sanosuke gave each other a quick glance, then peered over or around Kenshin worriedly.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kenshin inhaled sharply. He had seen her. Beautiful...beyond beautiful. An enchanting beauty in his eyes...however...something had obscured her beauty and it had left a haunting memory in his eyes. A deep healing gash between her breasts. At first he thought was imagining the wound, since she had covered herself so quickly. But then he saw the guilty, frightened look in her eyes and he knew the truth. 

A single question echoed in his mind. 

_"Who did it?"_

When he had seen Kaoru at first...it had stunned him. Her weakened state. Even more fragile and vulnerable than before. It could have been mistaken for illness easily. Even when Megumi told him it was the flu, he had to admit that he was a bit suspicious, but he had dismissed it, telling himself that he was just paranoid. So he focused on taking care of her. Even when she was coughing and wheezing uncontrollably and he knew the flu had to do with the stomach, not the lungs. He still left those facts forgotten. 

And now he was angry. How could he have been so stupid?! So naive! It seemed as if he was the only one that didn't know what happened. Everyone seemed to be shielding him from the truth. _"Why?! Why would they do that?!"_ Confusion and frustration pumped through his veins vigorously. Didn't they trust him? 

Barely noticing the presence of Sanosuke and Yahiko behind him, he decided he wouldn't let himself be deceived anymore. He took a step forward in anticipation. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

She clenched her teeth anxiously. Kaoru had seen the flicker of anger in his eyes and she had a sense that when he knew more, it would be directed at her. Now, she was regretting was she did to her self immensely. This wasn't how she had wanted this to happen at all. 

Kaoru noticed Yahiko and Sanosuke peering at her from behind Kenshin. Wanting a little more privacy, she tipped her head the the side lightly signaling them to leave. Yahiko didn't seem to notice it, but Sanosuke did and he pulled him down the hall, giving Kaoru one last concerned glance. 

Her gaze darted back to Kenshin as he stepped towards her. His expression determined, yet perplexed. Fear rang through her as his violet eyes sent a chilling shiver down her spine. She backed up. 

Silence screamed in her ears just like his piercing gaze locked her deep blue eyes to his. He came closer to her as she moved farther away, until her back pressed against the wall and he was a few feet in front of her. 

"...Kaoru." Kenshin drawled. Kaoru blinked repeatedly as if trying to comprehend her own name. She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She had no answer. She looked away quickly. Guiltily. "You have...what is..." He struggled with voicing his confusion. 

"It's nothing!" Kaoru blurt, all of the sudden. "Nothing at all!" She surprised him and even herself with the sharpness in her words. 

She could feel the pulsing of blood in her fingers. 

"Nothing...nothing?! Kaoru, what happened!" Kenshin exclaimed; firing off the venting from weeks of stress building inside the couple. 

"Nothing happened! It's just a cut! It's not important!" Kaoru cried. Kenshin's eyes narrowed slightly and he leaned closer to her. 

"That," Kenshin announced to her, as he pointed his index finger to the valley of her breasts, " Is not a merely a cut! And if it wasn't important I wouldn't be asking you, would I?" 

Silence. 

"Kaoru...I want you to tell me what really happened." Kenshin whispered firmly. Kaoru grit her teeth and pushed herself harder against the wall. Dread filled her body, sickening her stomach. She wished this had never happened. She just wanted it all to go away. Maybe she could start everything all over again. Maybe then, she could do things the right way; the way they should have been. 

But that would never happen and Kaoru was forced back to the piercing gaze of Kenshin, who was still waiting for an answer. The guilt grew inside of her as she barely shook her head. 

Kenshin sighed inwardly. Obviously, this wasn't going to work. _"Maybe I should go with the pacific questions?" _Kenshin suggesting to himself. _"Well...it's worth a try."_ He thought and switched tactics. (Smilar to the ones Sanosuke had used on her a while before.) 

"You weren't sick...were you...?" Kenshin began. Kaoru blinked...seemingly confused by his sudden change of voice. He seemed less...frustrated. 

"...No." 

"How long have you had that wound?" Kenshin asked. She licked her lips, nervously. 

"...A few weeks." Kaoru whispered. His eyes widened. _"A few weeks!? Then this injury was much worse than it is now! My God! What happened to her!? Who did this?!"_

"And who was the first to help you?" He interrogated, moving closer to his desired answer. He remained outwardly calm. 

"I don't know." Kaoru admitted, starring at the floor. 

"I see." Kenshin eyed her carefully as she studied the tatami mats under his feet. 

Then, it suddenly struck him, she was still topless. Feeling embarrassed for his ignorance that had caused her to feel so uncomfortable, he bent over and picked up her discarded gi. "Here." Kenshin said as he handed it to her. Kaoru hesitated for a moment, before carefully covering herself with one arm and reaching for it. She slipped the gi on quickly and silently, without letting him get another peek. After a minute, Kenshin continued. 

"So you don't know who helped you...because you don't remember?" Kenshin mused. Kaoru nodded. "...and do you know who did this to you?" He came to his point and saw her shudder in the corner of his eye. 

"I..." she trailed off. _"Oh no...what am I going to do? I can't lie anymore."_ Her tightly balled fists trembled as her heart pounded vigorously. _"He's going to be so mad...I've gone against his beliefs, my beliefs and my father's teachings."_ Kaoru sighed loudly._ "But he'll have to find out sometime...I should be able to tell him...don't we love each other?"_ She stared into his eyes. Kenshin started looked uneasy as her lips parted. "Yes...I know who did it." Her voice wavered slightly. 

"...who?" He asked, feeling apprehension creep up behind him. Kaoru closed her eyes tightly and visibly trembled. 

"I did." 

Kenshin was shocked. His eyes wide in horror. His body stunned. He couldn't believe his ears. 

"What?!" He exclaimed. Kaoru opened her eyes. They were filled with unshed tears. 

"Gomen...nasai Kenshin." Kaoru apologized. He took a step forward. 

"Kaoru! Why?! What about your family honor?! Isn't the Kamiya Kassen's technique _not_ to kill!? Is it not the style you live by?! Don't you know that if you kill yourself you would be breaking the whole point the technique and its teachings?!" Kenshin exploded, furious at what she had done to herself. 

"I wasn't thinking about that at the time!" Kaoru protested. Her tears were about to spill. 

"Obviously not, otherwise you wouldn't have done that! In fact, why did you even do it!? Why?!" He yelled. 

"Because! Because you left! I didn't want to be alone! Kenshin, I did it because I love you!!" She cried as the tears overflowed down her cheeks. 

"How are you supposed to show me that you love me if your dead!?" He shouted. 

"How are _you_ supposed to _see_ that I love you if you're gone!!?" Kaoru screamed in back. 

A silence fell over the room. Truth of her words rang in Kenshin's ears. Their heavy breathing from the heated argument and the quiet sniffling from Kaoru's tears quietly echoed throughout the room. They both guiltily stared at a random object. Each thinking and regreting. 

Kaoru grew sick of the uncomfortable silence. She sighed and glanced back at Kenshin. "Like I said the other night...at first I didn't understand why you had to leave, but now I do." He looked thoughtful. 

"I remember...I just can't stand the fact that I almost lost you." Kenshin whispered. He wasn't crying, but his shoulders trembled. 

"I'm so sorry Kenshin..." Kaoru said softly as she stepped forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. He clutched her against him tightly. The stress and mental anguish from the past few weeks began to fade from each of them. Still they clung to each other, as if an eternity together wouldn't be long enough. 

"Me too." He gave her a gentle squeeze. 

"I love you..." 

"I love you too." 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

**Translations:**

Gomen Nasai/Gomen: I'm sorry 

Gi: think Kenshin's shirt 

Tatami- a straw like flooring in traditional Japanese houses. Can I say...straw carpet? 

**Authores Notes:** Waaaaaaiiit!!! This fic is not over yet! One more chapter to go! The epolouge! Sorry that it took so long to get this one up. My school has decided to give me much homework. My vacation was fun too!! Anyway, I hope the end of this chapter wasn't too sappy. Please review and tell me what you think of the fic! I love to hear constructive criticism or if ya just plain like it. :) (Please...no flames...they scare me.) Hey! When I'm finished with this fic, I can get started on the story that has been stuck in my head for 6 months: The Fun House! Oh, it's going to be so fun! Yay! ^-^ (It includes my original character) 


	13. Epolouge: Dusty Bouquet

Departure Scars

**Epolouge:**

"Dusty Bouquets" 

"I remember...I just can't stand the fact that I almost lost you." Kenshin whispered. He wasn't crying, but his shoulders trembled.

"I'm so sorry Kenshin..." Kaoru said softly as she stepped forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. He clutched her against him tightly. The stress and mental anguish from the past few weeks began to fade from each of them. Still they clung to each other, as if an eternity together wouldn't be long enough. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

"My goodness it got dusty!" Kaoru exclaimed after she slid her finger along a piece of furniture in the dojo. The Kenshin-gumi had been gone for almost two months and they were all extremely happy to be back home.

Kenshin had defeated Shishio, but he was hurt severely. He had been hanging on the edge of death for almost ten days. Finally, a message had been sent to Megumi and she hurried to Kyoto to help. With the special medicine she had concocted, Kenshin began to recover slowly. It took him nearly a month to heal enough so that he could walk around. Through the whole thing Kaoru was by his side. She would fuss over anything that was not good enough for him, if she thought so. She had to be forced to returned to her own room so she could finish healing as well. 

"I guess we'll have some cleaning to do de gozaru." Kenshin replied, watching Kaoru from the corner of his eye. 

"Yeah." She agreed and began walking down the hallway. "I'm going to put my stuff away." 

As soon as everyone set their things down they began walking around the dojo, occupying themselves. Sanosuke was looking for food in the cabinets, Yahiko put the swords away, Kenshin began dusting and Megumi had already left for the clinic to care for patients. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

"Wow...dusty in here too..." Kaoru thought aloud. She set down her bag and began to take out her kimono and her training clothes. "Mou...my good bokken just _ had_ to break." She frowned and set the piece of broken wood aside, but she hesitated when she noticed something on the floor near her shoji. 

Flowers. 

She picked them up gingerly. Discolored flakes from the dry petals glided to the floor. She looked at them carefully. _"How did these get here?"_ Kaoru wondered. She glanced down at the maroon tie that bound the little bouquet. It looked like Kenshin's hair tie. She looked at it closer. It was. 

"Aw...Kenshin." She breathed, remembering the all the sweet things he'd done for her. _"He's probably doing something sweet right now. I bet he's already dusting the counters or something."_ (He is too.) _"I haven't really done anything sweet for him...He came in to give me these beautiful flowers and I gave him...oh god...I only gave him that terrible look on his face." _Kaoru shook her head sadly remembering the look of shock in his eyes, the way his jaws clenched with disbelief. How angry yet hurt he seemed. She began to feel guilty all over again. _"Well I can't just sit here and sulk over it..." _She thought. 

Kaoru rose to her feet and left her room with the flowers still in her hands. She found Kenshin in the kitchen, dusting of course. She hid the flowers behind her back. 

"Hey, Kenshin?" She said innocently. 

"Hai Kaoru?" Kenshin answered, pausing in his dusting. He looked at her expectantly. She walked right up to him until they were almost nose to nose. She narrowed her eyes a bit as she starred into his. He blinked in confusion. Suddenly, Kaoru rapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. He barely had a chance to blurt out an 'oro' as she kissed him passionately. She slipped her tongue into his mouth to play with his. She could feel his arms come up around her waist to pull her against him more. He was loving this and she could tell. 

But then, just as suddenly, Kaoru pulled away and put her lips to his ear. 

"Thanks for the flowers." She whispered breathlessly, lifting the bouquet into his view. With that, she turned and walked away, back to her room. Kenshin watched her in silent shock and awe, but his mouth snapped shut when he remembered the presence that had been standing in the doorway behind him the whole, _entire _time. 

"Damn Kenshin! What the hell did you do to get that?!" Exclaimed Sanosuke, who had not heard what Kaoru had said. Kenshin turned slowly to face him. 

"Um...I have no idea...." Kenshin replied with slightly red cheeks. He didn't seem to remember the flowers he had tried to give Kaoru so long ago. "I guess I gave her flowers..." He said slowly. 

"Thanks--bye." And Sanosuke was out the door. 

"Oro?" Kenshin said, completely confused, but he did have the idea that Sanosuke might be heading to the clinic. 

Still confused about the flowers, he sighed, turned around and went back to dusting. 

~*Owari 

**Translations:**

Oro: huh? 

The rest are in other chapters. Check there. 

**Author's Notes:** OMG!! I can't believe that I finished this! I has been a long year. Whew! It's been such a long time since I updated that I think everyone really had forgotten my fic this time. ;_; *sniff* I hope I get some reviews for this last chapter. This will be really disappointing if I end it like that. I just want a couple of reviews more. Please? 

Anyways, I do have a couple more ideas for Kenshin fanfics but I mainly focusing on a Inuyasha fanfic idea that I have. Sorry Kenshin fans. 

Thanks for all your support. 

~*Minakokiss*~ 


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